How exciting! Tomorrow morning, between 830 and 930, our stuff should arrive. My goal: tomorrow night, I will be sleeping in my bed. It will also be very nice to have something to sit on. Yesterday, I made a desk out of the radiator. It worked for awhile but I kept banging my knees into it. So much of the furniture I have was either my mom’s or her parents. A good portion of it came from the Netherlands, from my Oma and Opa’s house. Including their radio which will now work. Everything that is coming has either a memory or a purpose. I owe a thanks to the Move Goddess for giving me those two baseline criteria to use to decide if I keep something. I also have a lot of things that my mom saved for each of us. I brought those things too and they will go into long term storage until my brothers decide what they want to have. Sometimes I feel like an archivist. I look at it as these things were important to my mother to preserve and care for and so I will continue to do so. And there are some things I am just not ready to let go of.
I made a decision, in the early days after she was gone, to go through at a high level and donate things that I knew would be of use and that it would make her happy to think of where they ended up. With all of her beautiful yarns and knitting needles and things like that, I gave to the women who came cleaned the house every week, allowing me more time with my mom. I gave most of her regular clothes away, things that she didn’t wear often because she was saving them for some sort of occasion. I gave all of the special food and vitamins to the Food Bank. Things like that. But after going through the first layers, I stopped because then it was things that really reminded me of her or that she had made or worn to certain events. In my carryon bag, I packed her last hairbrush and the super soft slippers that Lawyerella had given her and her purse with her lipsticks still in it. And the pillow which I used to tuck under her head to support her just right. Those things all came with me.
Something else that is coming tomorrow is the little pewter memento urn I have of her ashes. It wasn’t allowed to fly because the TSA can’t see through it or some such nonsense so I had to trust it to the movers to pack properly. Which they did. They put it into a kitchen box, figuring that it would be one of the first things I would unpack and drew a big heart on the box so I would be able to notice it right away. I have been worried about it since it was packed really.
I guess this would be a happy entry but I’m crying pretty hard right now. It is like all of a sudden her death has happened again.