Sometimes you can have an experience that is like looking through a store window. What you see in that window is everything you could have ever imagined, your biggest dreams come true. You naturally begin to imagine that dream being real and how your life will change in all these fantastic ways. And then it is closing time for the store and the lights in the window display go off and the rolldown shutters to keep people from breaking the glass come down as well. You are left staring at nothing. I had one of those experiences recently and I was trying to think of the best way to describe it since I am not that handy in either English or Dutch at the moment.

Waiting to Skype with R. in about 30 minutes. I think it was scheduled for tonight anyway, I neglected to put it in my phone right away because I was still thinking through the conversation I had with him on Friday.

Henry and George are nicely next to me on the sofa. George always like to sleep with something over his nose, like his own paw. I know I say it often but I am so grateful for my pets. Without them to push me to get up in the morning, go potty, eat kibble, eat yoghurt, give hugs I would probably have some much rougher mornings. It is hard to disappoint such little beings. And I like the fact that every being in my house snores. George has the best one, it is like a deep yoga inhalation (which is where he makes the noise) and then he lets it back out. Henry chuffs while he snores, blowing air out the side of his cheeks. Moortje snores and it sounds like you are scratching your skin. Lientje makes quiet little ladylike snores. And me, I snore like a grizzy and apparently the more relaxed I am, the louder I snore.

Not feeling so good today. I am walking around in a state of nausea. And my stomach feels like it is literally in knots. I didn’t give myself a case of food poisoning.

I am really missing Mom today and I know that the nausea and the stomach pain is emotionally generated. I think maybe tomorrow I will go look for an acupuncturist or the equivalent. I will make sure not to get confused and go for a body piercer because that could have unexpected results.