or quite literally “it shall me a sausage be”. You might be wondering what kind of drugs I must be doing. Rest assured, this is a Dutch saying. It roughly translates to “I don’t care”. I think it is hilarious. I also think it is a pretty good reminder to prioritize. I seem to be getting that message a lot lately. Prioritization. Perhaps I have been hearing that message for a while now and ignoring it. I am going to use this expression to prioritize things in my life. If there is a subject that comes up, I am going to think about it. If it gets the mental response of the Sausage Expression, then I won’t make it a priority. I think this will be so much easier for me than the 7 habits or any other popular methodology.

I went to the office today for my weekly social contact and some mandatory training. I walked to the train station instead of riding my bike because my silly Fitbit doesn’t include biking. My less fancy older Fitbit didn’t differentiate, motion was motion. However this one does so that means my feet have to hit the ground. Annoying. At the same time, it was kind of nice to just be walking and not worry about what time I was going to arrive. My most pressing concern was the wind, which was icy. I was smart to take the train because when I saw the freeway, it was backed up all the way due to an accident so I ended up getting to work faster than if I had driven. There’s also something about trains that is comforting, the rocking motion, the fact that you can stare out the window. I like those things and I like train stations.

Tomorrow is my lunch date with Luc. We are going for Turkish in a restaurant that used to be a 17th century protestant church and is now an enormous Turkish restaurant. I have been there before. I found it one day when I was trying to stay dry.

I did get my Madonna tickets. Exciting! Of course, it is not until December so I have some time to wait.

I found a pair of my mom’s gloves that still had some of her hair on them. I put them on today and it felt like I was so very connected to her. I put them away when I came home because I don’t want to use them everyday, just when I need a recharge of Mom.

In the middle of the afternoon, I find myself needing what is known in Dutch as a “frisse neus” or a fresh nose. It means that I need to shift gears from what I am doing and distract myself a little. It seems to be a perfect time to write a small post and drink tea.

Today I booked myself in for another week with the nuns. I am excited to be able to go again and dig deep into learning Dutch. I do know I will be crying again by the middle of the week in frustration. As they told me last time “we see crying as a breakthrough point. You are ahead of the week, usually this happens on Fridays”. Perhaps you could say I am an advanced student in frustration! They didn’t have room until early May so I have some time ahead of me to try to improve before I get there. Last year I met Eliza there and we turned out to be friends. I am curious to know if I will meet an Eliza 2.0.

I have also been on a bit of a concert ticket spree over the past few weeks. This morning I bought my tickets to Dotan and Within Temptation concerts. Tomorrow morning when they go on pre-sale, I will be buying my Madonna tickets. Whoop whoop! I am not really into the idea of going to great big festivals so I give those a miss. However, there are so many great old venues to see music here. For Within Temptation – which is like this crazy European rock orchestra spectacle – I am going to see them in a beautiful old building in Haarlem. Sort of like Sarah Brightman meets a thrash metal band and decides to go on tour. I owe my exposure to them due to Pieter and his infinite Spotify library.

Dotan I just like. He’s Dutch. Years ago I would have shuddered at the thought of seeing Madonna. However, as I have grown older, I have begun to appreciate her for her power and her determination. Long before the Britneys, the Christinas, the Mileys, there she was and I respect that.

I also like the experience of seeing music here. You can usually get there via transport or bike. You can always have a drink, whatever that is and you have a place to check in your coat. Ticket prices are not crazy. The best thing is that you can talk with the strangers around you without anyone thinking that you are hoping to hook up or whatever. Of course, if that’s your goal, you can have those conversations too! My point being that here, people talk across differences in age/class/ethnicity/etc without a problem. The conversation is the benefit not the means to the benefit.

Okay, one more conference call before the workday is finished. I hope my nose is now fresh!

Back to work today. I am pretty proud of the fact that I managed to not read or respond to work email during the days I took as vacation days. Well, that’s not entirely true. I did read the one that told my Fitbit battery was low and in need of charging but otherwise, I started this morning with 107 unread email messages. Which was pretty good.

I went to see the film “Wild” yesterday with Marianne. It is always good to see how much worse your life could be even if it is just in comparison to a movie character. For example, I am grateful that I have not lost my toenails and had to pull them off myself while hiking in the wilderness. Sort of makes cutting them short for banjo practice seem like no big thing.

Banjo lesson this afternoon. This time, it is at the store instead of my teacher’s house. Luckily it is sunny outside so it will be a nice bike ride over. – slight update – i walked out the door to a rainstorm.  I did wimp out and take the tram instead of my bike. I do have grooves in the tops of my fingers because of how hard I played – extra points for effort! During my lesson, a store customer came up and stared intensely through the glass door into the lesson room. That was unnerving. Perhaps he was compelled to see a banjo being tortured or wondering how Paul, my teacher, has the auditory stamina to listen and play along. Or maybe he just got confused by the glass window and thought he was in another neighborhood in Amsterdam 😉

Off to Switzerland later this month for an interview. I am excited because I took a few extra days before it and will be able to go explore. Rock out  with my inner Heidi you might say. I thought about taking the train for the full European experience but it was 8 hours each way. Whereas a flight into neighboring France was 1 hour and then an hour train ride over the border. So, this way I will still be travelling by train but getting there a little faster! I am looking forward to it!

I’m going back to the nuns next month for more Dutch. It is about time that I pay a little more attention to investing in myself and what brings me happiness rather than trying to do everything for everyone else. Or so my manager said last week in our mid year review. For me, I think I will just relish being somewhere that I can learn full time.

My mom has been with me a lot this past week. I can feel her strength in me and her love for me. I am so grateful that I can feel that still. It is also a grounding into who I am. Which I have needed. One of my favorite Mohawk Nation writers, Taikake Alfred, wrote “How you fight determines who you will become when the battle is over” . I had that as my email signature for many years. In thinking about it again, I realize that is the same teaching I have from my mom. As long as I hold onto that, I am okay.