I am going to say that I am glad to have an empty house again. For the future, the Air BnB experience is not welcome. I spent the past few days feeling like I was having an Air BnB guest. One without any regard for the environment or people around, one who didn’t even display common courtesies like asking if I also wanted anything as they went into the store to get themselves some breakfast and water.
It is my fault for tolerating it. After today’s trip to Marum, which was also a NON Enjoyable experience as chauffeur, I am done with people who have highly developed egos and the resulting tendencies that go with them. I know there is something wrong with me as I have had the history of them finding their way into my life. I have had enough of it. So, I am cleaning out my house of people that I know that spend their entire existence acting as if they are the center of the universe. Life is too short for such imbalanced friendships. I am not doing it anymore.
I have to say, it feels pretty damn good. I’ve learned a lesson this week that I am still susceptible to those types of people, which means I have to do a better screening job in the future. I can’t do much about my brother other than to not give him a place to stay next time. We already don’t talk unless he is planning a trip to Europe and wants somewhere to stay. He is almost 40 and he’s not going to change. As for non relatives, those are easier to manage out of your life. And I am fucking tired of dealing with emotionally unstable people.
For future houseguests, please know that you are welcome to stay with the following in mind: clean up after yourself, be inclusive, make conversation – by this I mean dialogue not monologue, every now and then offer to pay for your share, and when going to buy something for yourself make the effort and ask if I also would like something.
I am angry with myself that I drove 3 plus hours roundtrip to Marum for less than 2 minutes to talk to Mom. I had a pissed off passenger because he didn’t get up on time to go, who got irritated with me because I stopped to water the plants by Mom and Oma and the Greats. I am angry with myself that I shut up in my own car by said pissed off passenger because he disagreed with the fact that Russia is a great place (it’s not, I have been there). I am angry with myself that I spent time and effort trying to make sure everything would be in order and gezellig and I DIDN’T GET A SINGLE THANK YOU. I am sick and tired of people like that in my life.
The time in the car today is the most time my brother spent with me. And more than half of it was in silence. So, maybe now you can understand why I am taking charge of my social world and throwing out the center of the universe types. I guess you could say I am declaring my independence 😉