to us! One year ago today, we were arriving at Schiphol with 4 checked suitcases (one filled entirely with pet food and tortillas) and 4 kennels. I remember insisting that Customs inspect all my paperwork because at that point it had required 40 hours worth of work to put it together and I was not leaving for the outside world until someone had read it. On the other side of the glass doors, was Joanne, our own personal Welcome to the Netherlands ambassador.
It seems hard to believe that a year has passed. Two years ago on this date, I was busting Mom out of skilled care nursing and we were moving her into the big house. Yesterday was difficult and I ended up crawling into my purple Mom chair and had a big cry. I have been really busy over the past two weeks. Last night I realized I was trying to keep a wellspring of grief firmly behind the Door of the Occupied Mind. Once I realized the door was there, it stopped working and then I just had to get it out. I wanted to talk to my brothers, any one of them really. But then I felt guilty because I wanted to talk to them so I would feel better and know that I wasn’t the only one missing Mom. Of course, then responsible Big Sister mode kicked in and I decided that I would not call, I would make it through on my own. And that’s what I have to focus on, I just have to make it through to the next minute. I don’t have to have a plan for the next hour.
I am glad that we live here. It isn’t perfect but it is a good life. I like knowing that I can go to Marum or eat Indonesian food or hear someone say something that reminds me of my mom. I like the fact that I can take the boys pretty much wherever I want. We live in a great neighborhood and I have a lot to be thankful for. And that includes you.