Dinner is cooking, the first load of laundry is in the wash and I am taking a moment to get my thoughts in order. Of those three things, maybe the thought rodeo is the most difficult.
It was really beautiful weather today. The dogs and I walked GG to the train station and then went home via the park. Of course, the beautiful weather attracts lots of picknickers which are a nearly overwhelming temptation for the dynamic duo to practice their sneak up and go for the food tactics. They did well today, there were no reports of picnic muggings.
I fly to Seattle on Friday and as it gets closer, I get more and more stuck in my head. I’ll drive over to Yakima on Saturday to Raven’s grave. I know it is going to be a really hard and terrible experience. But I need to do it, otherwise it won’t seem real. I need to do it before the beginning of NerdCamp – which starts Sunday, otherwise I will be really anxious the whole week. I’ve learned to face the things that I fear most right off so that I can put the anxiety behind me. It isn’t courage, it is a coping strategy.
Then there’s all the little things. Now when I go to pick up the mail, there will also be mail for him. Over the years, I have saved my voice mail messages. Luckily there were plenty in there from him and also one from my mom. Yesterday, I ordered them burned to a CD so I can have them in my hands or rather the cloud. And also now because I don’t need to keep my US phone number anymore. I’ve had the same number since I met Raven so he would never have to memorize another. He doesn’t need it anymore so I guess that means I can stop holidng on to it as well.
I was accepted for a volunteer project with Kenya through my work. In the beginning of August, I’ll be assigned as a mentor to help the as yet unknown people start their own business initiative. I’m glad I was accepted, I feel overwhelmingly that I need to be building things right, doing something with all of this emotion. The initial duration is through November and then it will be examined for continuation. The logical step after that would be an in-country project. I’d like to go back to Africa, to see more of it.
While I am in Seattle, GG is going to be in charge of the zoo. On one hand, I really appreciate that she is willing to take on the challenge and on the other hand, a tiny part of me worries if it will dent our relationship 😉 I don’t think it will but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t worry about things like that…
Oh, yes, it is officially relationship status now – she changed her FB status – which is apparently how you know. Of course, I am not on FB so I needed a more low tech way to have the communication shared with me – via WhatsApp 😉
Okay, I think it might be wise if I paid attention to what I was cooking…