Right, I know I have only myself to blame if I stay out dancing on Rembrandtplein til 5am. I could tell you I was doing important research to understand how music affects the movement of the body so that I could be a more impactful banjo player. You might believe me for a few seconds. The real truth, it was just fun and for fun! And surprisingly, with 4 hours of sleep, my banjo lesson this morning went pretty well.
It also helped that it was sunny this morning and walking in this city in the sunlight is a special treat. You feel like only good things could happen with your day! I have had three or four cups of coffee today so that I could work but other than that, it has been okay. I don’t seem to be making any obvious mistakes 😉 Tomorrow is another all day event, like Friday’s, so I will have to refill my social energy battery again!
Yesterday, I was in the park with the boys and while I was watching them run, I realized how much I enjoyed seeing them do that. I think maybe I am finally starting to appreciate all of the little moments in life like my mom did. If this is true, then moving here was worth it for that alone. I am grateful that I am able to continually explore different things about myself and my ideas. My life is so much richer for being willing to take the risk to do that.
In Seattle, it was easy to fill all of my hours with work, to define myself by my work. Here I work just as hard but I set strong fences around it. I still read my work email on weekends but I don’t respond until Monday morning. And when I start to get anxious about that, I talk myself through that until I can let the anxiety go. Sometimes it doesn’t work and I fall back into the send a response trap. Then I climb back out of the trap, without “shoulding”on myself – i.e., that I shouldn’t have done that, etc.
Golly, at this rate, I will be able to take proper vacations with relaxation and everything! It sounds frivolous, I know. It has taken me 18 months to get to this point. It is not a dismantling of my old self, rather it is an exercise in priority setting. What is important in life to me? How do I want to make sure that I am living with purpose and with a clear understanding of what is important to me?
End of this week and it is off to Switzerland. I remember that when I scheduled the appointment, I thought it was so far in the future. Here is finally. I am looking forward to exploring. Which reminds me that since they don’t use the euro, I need to figure out what that a Swiss franc will buy you. Everyone keeps telling me it is horribly expensive. Not going to worry about it, just going to go and enjoy the experience. Perhaps I will even acquire a proper Swiss fondue set. Perhaps I will like it enough to add it to our summer vacation plans. I think I would like to go somewhere with Astrid so that I can take the boys.
Oh, it is terrace time! 🙂 Sunshine, yay!