Last night I went to get my dinner at the Flying J truckstop. Why? Well, because I am here outside of Spokane and the other choice was getting in the big rental car and driving somewhere to find food. I knew I probably wouldn’t necessarily find much better so I made do with chili cheese Fritos, coconut water and almonds. Right now, I am eating the last of those for breakfast along with my hotel room made coffee. It is 6AM and I could brave the Flying J for breakfast but I would rather not.

Yesterday was a long day, first the flight from Amsterdam to Seattle, which really was 9.5 hours and then four hours in Seattle waiting for the flight to Spokane. I head back to Seattle tonight for a week’s worth of Nerd Camp Lite and then back to the Netherlands with a stop in San Francisco for a wedding. Not mine!

So, what am I doing here? I am going to see R. today. The plans I had made to spend time with him have been rather dramatically changed so I am permitted to visit him for one hour this afternoon. That’s it. I am going to have to cram an awful lot of love in that one hour. Which is always difficult with a time crunch.

I am fluctuating between calm and anxiety which means really that I am not calm. It is going to be difficult to see him, for both of us. And as it is each time, it is going to be really difficult to leave him behind. Not seeing him would be worse so it isn’t a question that I would stop coming. As the years go one, it gets more difficult to see him because of the choices that he is making and how the system reacts to a child that doesn’t seem to fit anywhere.

In fitting with this thought pattern, on the airplane I watched “Danny Collins” and Annie the original and the remake. No wonder I didn’t sleep!

I have several hours before I can see R. I will stay at the hotel as long as I can. I have been to Spokane many times before and I have seen most of the sights.