I wanna be sedated… as the classic Ramones song goes. In my case, I nearly wore out the cassette tape I had of Ramones Mania (their first greatest hits album) listening to that song. As a matter of fact, I am going to play it write now while I type just to keep me bouncing along.

I haven’t packed yet but the boys already know something is up. There’s been a high amount of anxiety peeing around here. Them, not me. As for me, I know everything will be fine. I showed Nikah today how to give the cats their medicine. If you can catch her, Lientje is alot easier than Moortje about getting her medicine. Of course, catching her is not that easy.

I went to the Albert Cuyp market to get stroop wafels for Meredith. She loves them, they are about as fresh as you can get and extra delicious. Besides, I think that since I will be staying with them for a week, it is the least I can do. I also bought cheese and Indonesian spices and sauces so I can cook for them as a way of saying thank you. I can actually cook, tortillas being the exception of course!

I had a rought banjo lesson today. Most likely because I was stressing out about leaving tomorrow and that it is not the brightest time of the year to be taking a week off from work. It will be okay. I have 8 hours of flying time tomorrow to be doing work stuff. Except KLM doesn’t have wifi on their international flights. I don’t that’s a bad thing really. I am supposed to be writing a magazine article and that doesn’t require wifi.

I felt like PigPen from Peanuts while I was trying to play the banjo today. It seemed like no matter what I tried, stuff kept getting stuck and swirling around making the songs sound terrible. Luckily, the mess was musical as opposed to bricks or other hard objects so no one was seriously damaged.

Tomorrow morning, one more open house to look at before I leave for the airport. It feels strange to be going to the US. I am going to be very happy to see Cedric, Rupert and Meredith. That’s not it. It just feels odd somehow. I have to go since my new check in sized suitcase has already been delivered to Rupert’s third floor walkup.

I think I better get my butt in gear and try discreetly packing around the pets.

Yesterday I spent the day on Forteiland in the Ijmuiden harbor. It is an old fort that used to be part of the defense line of Amsterdam. We had a work meeting there. I thought it was going to be another meeting involving slides and increasing butt numbness from the chairs only this time on an island so we couldn’t sneak off early. I was wrong. It turns out it was a day of adventure. We had all kinds of interesting stuff to do like shooting a bow, going blindfolded through an obstacle course in the old ammunition rooms, building a catapult and launching missiles. It was good fun! I did get a sunburn despite my sunscreen. However, it was worth it. We were split into teams and I had a really good team to work with. We were excellent with strategic things and working together, we didn’t do so well in the single oriented activities like sharpshooting on the range.

Today I had another day long meeting. However, this one was more serious. Instead of the office, we met at Wim’s house. He lives out in the polder and has a tremendous yard with rabbits (Ozzy and Sharon) and four chickens and a rooster, a goldfish pond and a garden that is composed of different “rooms” so you are never bored. Of course, an enormous terrace as well. It reached 84 degrees today so this was a great place to have a meeting. It was also really productive despite our best efforts to be distracted by the outdoors.

When I see places like Wim’s, I do think about moving outside of the city. I am charmed by the old farmhouses and tiny streets with one lane bridges and canals along every house. I like looking across the meadows and seeing the cows and the sheep and in the distance the tall tower of the church in the next town. I like the space that you have and imagine the peace and quiet. And then I think about things like the fact that his town doesn’t have an ATM anymore. The bank said there wasn’t enough usage. I think about how I like going out in the evening and in a small town you either have to make friends quickly or be perfectly okay with being the outcast. Not much middle ground. That pulls me back to the idea of living in the city pretty quickly! I do enjoy visiting it. Perhaps one day when I grow up, I will live in the countryside too, on a small farm.

I have spent the past couple of days processing things out of my head and talking myself down from the ceiling. I try not to get so wound up but it happens. It gets worse when I don’t say anything about it and keep it buried. I haven’t changed my mind about the decisions I made for going forward. In the future, I will act on them sooner and not wait for things to get better, because really they won’t.

My Andre Rieu tickets came today. I have to figure out who to bring along since the original intended guest is out of the picture. Or I could just go alone, which would be completely okay. Either way, I have my weekend booked at the castle nearby and before the concert, there is a fabulous dinner at Chateau Neercanne complete with a wine pairing and a designated driver so I am certain to enjoy the concert 🙂 Unfortunately, small dogs are not invited! I will do my best to celebrate Mom’s chosen 75th birthday with happiness and gratitude for the life that I have.

I am going to say that I am glad to have an empty house again. For the future, the Air BnB experience is not welcome. I spent the past few days feeling like I was having an Air BnB guest. One without any regard for the environment or people around, one who didn’t even display common courtesies like asking if I also wanted anything as they went into the store to get themselves some breakfast and water.

It is my fault for tolerating it. After today’s trip to Marum, which was also a NON Enjoyable experience as chauffeur, I am done with people who have highly developed egos and the resulting tendencies that go with them. I know there is something wrong with me as I have had the history of them finding their way into my life. I have had enough of it. So, I am cleaning out my house of people that I know that spend their entire existence acting as if they are the center of the universe. Life is too short for such imbalanced friendships. I am not doing it anymore.

I have to say, it feels pretty damn good. I’ve learned a lesson this week that I am still susceptible to those types of people, which means I have to do a better screening job in the future. I can’t do much about my brother other than to not give him a place to stay next time. We already don’t talk unless he is planning a trip to Europe and wants somewhere to stay. He is almost 40 and he’s not going to change. As for non relatives, those are easier to manage out of your life. And I am fucking tired of dealing with emotionally unstable people.

For future houseguests, please know that you are welcome to stay with the following in mind: clean up after yourself, be inclusive, make conversation – by this I mean dialogue not monologue, every now and then offer to pay for your share, and when going to buy something for yourself make the effort and ask if I also would like something.

I am angry with myself that I drove 3 plus hours roundtrip to Marum for less than 2 minutes to talk to Mom. I had a pissed off passenger because he didn’t get up on time to go, who got irritated with me because I stopped to water the plants by Mom and Oma and the Greats. I am angry with myself that I shut up in my own car by said pissed off passenger because he disagreed with the fact that Russia is a great place (it’s not, I have been there). I am angry with myself that I spent time and effort trying to make sure everything would be in order and gezellig and I DIDN’T GET A SINGLE THANK YOU. I am sick and tired of people like that in my life.

The time in the car today is the most time my brother spent with me. And more than half of it was in silence. So, maybe now you can understand why I am taking charge of my social world and throwing out the center of the universe types. I guess you could say I am declaring my independence 😉

Maybe the best thing to do is not have any, then things can only be a positive. I am not that kind of person though. I have always had expectations of people, places and experiences. I was raised with expectations. I can’t remember my parents ever not telling me what they expected of me, whether it involved grades, a job, contributing to the family, etc. I am pretty sure that I didn’t live up to all of their expectations and their thoughts about what my potential was but that’s for another post.

Over the past few days, I have had some unusual conversations. I have gotten some very frank advice about my tendency to wear sneakers (and sport ones not dressy ones), my fondness for fleece and other outdoor type clothing, color combinations and using clothing as a wall. This was a particularly good conversation because it prompted me to do some thinking about why I wear what I do. A lot of my motivation is based on what is comfortable and what works with riding on a bike. Looking at it more closely, a lot of my clothing choice is also based on what makes me feel safe, protected from the chaos and dirt of the outside world. This doesn’t mean that I walk around in a hazmat suit – I just wear a tinfoil helmet which is equally effective and less obvious. It means that I dress in what reminds of the Pacific Northwest, of Seattle, of my mom. It completely doesn’t go over here. I don’t think I want to change it. I am going to do some more thinking about it though, why am I really wearing what I do? What is it about my clothing that I identify so strongly with? Yet when I travel to the US, I want to be more formal looking, more European and I look at what I pack and wear differently.

Less easy to manage are the expectations I have about people. I think this is where I get into trouble a lot. There used to be a quite important person in my life who I would often tell “those are your expectations of how you would treat people and what you would do. You can’t expect Person X to do so as well”. Instead I find myself now telling myself that. It is not quite as effective when it is your own voice talking to you. I feel like over the past few days, the expectations I have had for some people have not been met. I can’t say I blame them because they are my expectations for someone else but at the same time, I feel irritated and let down. Then I start thinking about what I am going to do with that information. I don’t really think there is anything I can do other than accept it and make different choices in the future.

One of the houses I looked at last week closes for offers tomorrow morning at 830. The owner called me tonight to tell me. And as much as I want to go for it, I know it would be really dumb to do this without at least understanding the process and walking through it with a realtor. Especially since you are only buying the right to the house, not necessarily the house itself, which is a very weird concept for an American. Letting the house go without putting an offer in means also letting go of the expectation of living in that neighborhood, which is a bit of a bummer.

We did have a good family dinner tonight in Alkmaar. My spicy tofu and couscous was really excellent, considering we were definitely in the countryside. The conversation was good overall and it was nice to be together again. And my aunt gave me two Italian phrase books for my upcoming trip. What is hilarious is there are even the phrases for how to tell someone they are seducing you too fast. I guess Italy has a deserved reputation for romance if those kinds of phrases are included! I am going to have fun practicing.

I am done being melancholy. I have more work to do tomorrow morning before I go into the office so it is off to bed.

That was a slogan for a pancake combination at the International House of Pancakes. I don’t think I have ever eaten it but I give the marketing people full credit for coming up with a word combination that sticks in your head once you hear it! It is not in reference to me. Instead it refers to the newly washed Henry and George. I took them to the park first this afternoon and they rolled in everything including someone’s leftover bbq. So, when we walked in the door, it was only a matter of moments before the dog shampoo was bubbling away in the tub. George seemed to think he was swimming since he sat down in the water while Henry was getting washed first. You have to wash Henry first because he is shorter and the water comes up much higher on him. Henry is also not a big fan of water so I find it is kindest to scrub him first.

Dylan comes tomorrow so it is important for the boys to be at their cleanest since not everyone loves the smell of small dogs. If everything goes as expected, I will pick him up tomorrow evening from Centraal Station and we will go out for Indonesian food. If it doesn’t go as expected, I will have packed my flexbility as we say.

Yesterday the temperature reached 89 degrees. That was a sweaty bike ride home from Schiphol! I had a couple of bottles of water with me, which was smart thinking. I also had a headwind, of course. It was a hair band bike commute yesterday. In the morning, I listened to Guns ‘n’Roses greatest hits album and on the way home Poison’s. Something about warm weather inspires me to listen to 80’s hair bands. I am sure there is a psychological diagnosis in there somewhere!

It has been a busy week. On Tuesday, I met Joanne at Centraal at 1045 with instructions to be surprised. For my birthday, she took me to the Tong Tong Festival in Den Haag. This is a huge all things Indonesian exhibition. It was amazing! From the music to the food to the books. I met someone from the organization that works with survivors of the camps. I had wanted to get my mom a meeting with them but we were never able to do so. However, they are also willing to do family research so I am going to start that request too.

We bought sarongs – Joanne even bought two and I talked her into buying more super cute clothes. She can carry them off since she is super tall and slim, so all kinds of things look great on her. She just usually has to be pushed into committing to make the purchase. It is kind of like watching someone buy cheese, the same sort of vicarious thrill 😉 We had a really good time. Spending time with her always makes me laugh because she has no idea how funny she is. She bought some special beans that STINK. And I mean even through the plastic wrap. You don’t eat them per se, you use them to flavor another dish. The fun part of the beans was on the train back, it was very full. Joanne and I were sitting across from each other and her seatmate got this look on her face everytime she got a whiff of the beans. She eventually left – not sure if it was the train or just to sit somewhere else!

Wednesday we had the ECG for the cats. I have written about the policy here is that you are helping with your pets, you don’t just hand them off to the vet and wait. For both cats, I had to help with the process. The good news is that neither of them have an actual cardiac illness. In Moortje’s case, it is a side effect from the kidney problems. In Lientje’s case it is a birth defect most likely. Their hearts are not a separate issue which was a relief to hear. However, both of them tend to run now when I come near them because they don’t like getting their medicine two times per day. It also doesn’t work if I try to sneak it into their food. Sometimes you just have to live with the fact that you are not liked because you are doing the right thing. However, they both still come looking for attention at bedtime, so I guess I am not completely outside the ring of forgiveness. We have a followup in a month to see if Moortje’s blood pressure comes down.

At our birthday party last week, one of my colleagues gave me two books. The first was a 1965 copy of Simon Carmiggelt’s book Kroeglopen (Bar walking) that has beer and coffee stains on the front cover, actual rings. He was a very prolific Dutch columnist and his writing is pretty legendary. The book is a series of short stories about people that he comes across in various bars. It is important to call out the difference between a kroeg and a bar. A hotel has a bar, or a restaurant. A kroeg is more of a living room. It’s old and dark and might serve food but probably serves mostly bitterballen and fried stuff. Different kinds of people are attracted to bars versus those who go to kroegs. Kroegs normally have a cat – which lately the health inspectors are trying to fight. I was really pleased by the gift. From another coworker, I got a collection of necessary items like a light saber bubble wand, a monster truck tire swim float, fun things like that.

I have been trying to read only Dutch books this week which has been slow going. Helaas, it is not going to get any faster if I don’t do any reading so there you have it.

The washing machine is calling!

This afternoon we had an appointment at the vet for the cats. It had been six months since their last one and at their ages, the vet likes to do bloodwork and keep an eye on things. I wasn’t sure how to fit two pet carriers on the bike. Which turned out to be a non issue since I didn’t have two small ones. So, by swiftness and sneakiness, I managed to get both Lientje and Moortje in the same carrier. This is definitely an accomplishment because usually as soon as they see the carrier, they hightail it for a neighboring country that doesn’t have an extradition treaty!

With the help of the bungee cords that I always have on the bike, I strapped the carrier to the top of the basket and we made our way to the vet. I figured that if they were going to be traumatized, I would at least try to do it as fast as possible. Sort of like jumping in cold water instead of going inch by inch. Since they don’t ever go out on the street side of the house, the trip made them very unhappy with all the noise and activity.

During today’s exam, it turns out that the kidney food has not turned back the progress. For either of them. This means we’re taking the step to medication and also that they can make a guestimate on life expectancy assuming nothing else goes wrong but the kidneys. Not the best news ever. Moortje is more advanced than Lientje. Tonight I had to give them their first doses. It is liquid medicine so I have to get it into their mouths. They need the kidney medicine once a day, the kidney supplement twice a day. And Moortje has super elevated blood pressure – around 240 so that means he also gets medicine for that once a day. I think I am going to learn to get pretty good at this. And certainly the next time the house sitter is here, she will be earning her daily rate.

Wednesday they both go in for an ECG since both of them have murmurs in their hearts. Now with the kidney thing, it becomes more of a concern. So, not only do I have a little epileptic (George) but now I have two cardio renal patients. I know to be grateful that there are things that can be done and for the advanced ages of the cats, they have not had problems until now. This is pretty good considering Lientje is 16 and Moortje is around 20. Although it is only a guess, if nothing else fails, Moortje has another 679 days and Lientje 1129. I am not sure how they figure that out but there is some sort of formula involved.

I also asked the difficult question about cremation. When the time comes, I don’t want them to be mixed with a lot of other pets, I want it to be just them. I wasn’t sure how they handled that here so I asked. In return I got a brochure from the animal crematorium. I haven’t yet read it but I have it. After reading the notebook that hospice left when my mom started in their care, I am more careful about reading things. Turns out I wasn’t supposed to read the hospice notebook alone or in advance. However, they forgot to tell me that. I think I did some damage to myself by reading it. So, now I have the brochure from the crematorium in my desk for when the times comes.

I looked at another open house tonight. I am going to take a step back after this week – I have seven this week. I am going a little crazy, worrying about missing something. And then looking at too many things. And none of them are quite right, which then makes me even more anxious.

Hah, I was thinking the other day that I had successfully come off the anti depressants and not noticed a difference. Maybe that was a bit of wishful thinking. Either way, it is not enough to make me go back on.

Henry got in trouble today for running away from Kate, their park ranger. Apparently, he got it into his head to walk back to where the people were instead of with Kate and George. Some older ladies were very upset about it and gave Kate a stern Amsterdam talking to. Kate is made of pretty stern stuff herself and gave it right back. Henry really is becoming a little troublemaker. I never thought I would say that about him!

I feel like I might have said that very thing a time or two before. Today was a complete regression to the fall. Grey sky, rain all day, wind and not a moment of sunshine. I have no shame in admitting that today is not a day that we have left the house. The boys don’t even want to go out onto the terrace to write their pee-mail.

So what did we do instead? Read the paper cover to cover, including the extra Saturday sections, cleaned the kitchen and commanded the dishes into a semblance of orderliness, took a nap, practiced the banjo for a long time until George came up to me and put his paws on the strings as if to say “No more, Mommy, my ears are bleeding”. This time I even practiced at the dining room table so they wouldn’t have to be tortured like that. I was really struggling though, especially since I needed to retune to C instead of D which doesn’t lead to the best sounds if you don’t do it properly.

I fired up the rice cooker today for the first time. It’s not your usual rice cooker, you can also saute in it. Which is kind of a weird concept but useful if you want to throw in some veggies with your rice and not have to use a second pan. I freely admit I am a fan of one pan cooking. It was a plus to not burn the rice which I tend to do since I am not so handy with the gas stove for simmering.

I dreamed about my mom yesterday. When we lived in Seattle, there was a time that Dylan was commuting through Seattle from Bainbridge to the airport and once a week he would stop in for dinner. My mom and I always used to struggle with those occasions because you never knew what kind of mode Dylan would be in, which could make the evening either bearable or spectacularly unpleasant. We used to pep each other up for those evenings, usually by saying the worst things possible until we would begin to laugh at how ridiculous we were getting. Yesterday, I was so worn out from the social energy needed this week (including seeing Dylan at Schiphol) that I fell asleep on the massage table and dreamed about laughing with my mom over the Dylan experience. I guess you could say my brain was processing it out. I was glad to dream it because I was laughing with my mom, not crying or trying to find her as so often is the case. So, thanks, Dylan for bringing up all that residual trauma and giving me a good dream about Mom 🙂

Yesterday evening, I arrived early at the café for our party. I didn’t want other people to be the first to arrive and not see anyone. As I was sitting there in the midst of our reserved section, I started to get progressively more and more nervous. The barman had said that we were expecting 60 people. That set me nearly to hyperventilating. So, as you can imagine I was working myself up pretty well. As each minute passed, I was more and more convinced that I had the wrong night, that no body would come, etc. It was pretty funny actually because I knew perfectly well I had the right night and place and that people would be coming. I was just winding myself up because I was super nervous.

Eventually people began to trickle in, which was a relief. Blending your crowd is an interesting thing. For a long time, there was a very obvious social Iron Curtain hanging through the middle of the party. It reminded me of those awkward teenage years where at school dances, boys were on one side of the gym and girls on the other. Only the bravest actually mingled. Of course, now with Facebook and what not, that kind of thing is probably long forgotten. So you take small steps and you try to talk to people and make the effort. Or you pass the plates of fried snacks and look for a way to keep busy. Or you introduce a few people to each other – which is weird. I do this automatically but Dutch people do it themselves. For example, I would say “this is Marianne” to an existing group and then I would go around the group and introduce each person by way of saying “This is Paul, this is Astrid, this is Caroline”. That’s not how it works here. People introduce themselves and they are used to doing it so they don’t need an ambassador! I will work on remembering that for the next event.

I believe people enjoyed themselves, which was the goal. I think there is room for improvement in terms of mixing the groups together. Maybe that means hosting an outdoor potluck next year in one of the parks or other places. Or inviting everyone to do Silent Disco. That will surely break the ice!

Do you ever have the feeling that you want to call someone and share a story with them? Sometimes it is a WTF moment or perhaps that something so incredible happened? With these sort of things, you automatically reach for the phone to call. And then it strikes you that they are not going to answer because they are not there anymore, for whatever reason that may be. I have had a couple of moments like that over the past few days.

Speaking of patterns, I learned something about cows this morning. I was on the train to Den Haag and we were delayed because of a brake issue, the train couldn’t go faster than 80km per hour. Not a big deal for me since I was taking a nap. We were stopped near a farm and I was watching the cows come out of the milking barn. Do you know that they know precisely which meadow to go to that has an open gate? They were completely unattended and just walking about 50 meters apart towards the last meadow, which was the one that had the gate open. I was fascinated by this and I was hoping the train would stay a bit longer. The thing is, they had about 6 meadows to choose from. And they were only heading towards the one with the open gate, even the ones way in the back that were just leaving the barn. I need to learn some more about large animals!

Speaking of large animals, Dylan arrived at Schiphol this morning for a stopover on his way to Prague, Stockholm and Copenhagen. His flight arrived at 615 AM so I decided to transfer trains at Schiphol so we could have coffee in the Arrivals hall. And of course, to pick up the tortillas for the boys since neither of my two efforts so far at making my own have resulted in a success. I will see him again on his way back. Heh, he didn’t go for Starbucks this time so that’s a BIG step in the right direction of going to small and intense coffees.

Yesterday was a long day of booth bunny duty. By the time I got home last night, I could barely even talk to the dogs in complete sentences. Reading the paper was even beyond me, I was DutchedOut! Today has been intense as well, with more questions and more conversations. I am trying to drink less coffee today so I don’t trip over my words so quickly. I think yesterday I had around 10 cups.

I do like coming to Den Haag. It is a beautiful city and I plan to explore it some more. And who wouldn’t want to visit something called the Prison Gate Museum? And it is a real museum, meaning they take the museum year card as opposed to those Madame Tussaud’s style Torture Museums that seem to be in every big European city. On that note, back to booth bunny duty!

Tomorrow I am off to Den Haag for a two day festival of tech. What this means is that I am really doing booth bunny duty and answering questions, passing out business cards, mangling sentences in Dutch and English and generally channeling a great deal of extrovert for a purpose energy.

In light of that, it seemed like a good idea to ride to work today and try to build up the necessary energy for tomorrow. I had a beautiful day for a bike commute, with only a light headwind and no rain. The airplanes were landing in the same direction that I was cycling so I had the steady soundtrack of jet engines. I cheerfully admit that I can sit on a bench in the woods and just watch the planes come in. The big meadow is directly in their flight path and it is fantastic to watch. I often stop on the way home for ten minutes or so and just get my airplane on. If I stopped there on the way to work, I would probably not end up making it all the way to the office.

Then Saturday is the birthday party. Marianne’s real birthday is today but we are having our joint party on Saturday. I had invited a few people and taking the lazy woman’s way out, I just used their address that autocompleted in my email. Which turns out to be their work email and they would prefer to not receive anything not work there. I have made a note of that in the future for issuing invitations. Three of my coworkers are coming, my favorite ones, so I am delighted. And Marianne should be delighted that I invited people 😉 I haven’t heard definitively back from the cousins yet so I am not sure if I should expect them. I don’t want to recycle my Trijntje outfit from last week’s party so I will have to think of something new.

Henry ran away in the park on Monday. George couldn’t find him and I went through the park asking people if they had seen a small brown and white dog. No one had. Turns out, Henry nearly left the park, he went all the way to the street. I only know this because he finally decided to return and a young Polish couple called out “is that Henry?” and I turned around to see him running as fast as he could all the way from the park entrance. Mhmm. And last night at 4am, he jumped out of bed which is very bad for his back. I am thinking that Henry is pushing his luck right now. Like he knows it will be a 1400km trip to Italy and he is trying to ensure he doesn’t get to go. Too bad I know that trick. At least we will be stopping overnight instead of driving straight through.

Early night for me, I have to be on the 630 train tomorrow so I am going to say goodnight for now.

Last night the finals of the Eurovision Song Festival took place. I freely admit that as an American, this is not something that I follow with the sort of dedication and enthusiasm that many people around the world do. Last weekend, Marianne invited me to a Eurovision Party at the house of Marius and Matthew, with a costume theme. The theme: dress like any one of the acts over the past 60 years. This was a tall order and yesterday I got progressively more nervous and overwhelmed by all of the people who had participated over the years, including Abba, Celine Dion and Conchita Wurst. Marianne simply told me to put on some wide black pants, a wide black top, some kind of black shawl/cape and black shoes. Those things I could handle. Turns out we were dressing as the Dutch entry Trijntje Oosterhuis who did not make it to the finals. But I really think you should see her performance for yourself so here’s a link to it.

The party was so much fun. Everyone had a form to score each entry on the following categories: song, voice, appeal, sex appeal,  points for butts, breasts or navels showing, and costumes/backup dancers/special effects. Then there was also the attempt to pick the top five and a contest for the three best costumes at the party. To show how serious they take Eurovision, it was broadcast without a single commercial break. There was lots of in room commentary and hilarity! I usually have to keep busy at a party, it is one of my coping tricks for being socially awkward or onhandig (Dutch for not handy). I was busy tabulating the data and the votes while Marianne checked my math and reading ability. Sometimes it is really great to be around someone who just gets your weird quirks 🙂 So here we are having finished the data analysis

Then of course, I had to present the results and prizes. Then the dancing began because what else can you do after watching Eurovision?

Things that I notice about living here is that at a party, you introduce yourself to every person as you come in. Seriously. You shake their hand and introduce yourself. Remembering their names is something else. Then during the course of a party, you talk to people. Like everyone is equal and you don’t just talk to the people you find attactive or who can otherwise add to your network. You talk with everyone. To me it is always a little bit overwhelming because I am rather shy and because I am trying to communicate in another language. I am also trying to work off my American social training and habits.

And as I was cycling home to let the dogs out, with my Trijntje cape flying in the wind, I thought about how much I valued being able to have experiences like the Eurovision Song Party. And that around 2 in the morning, it is perfectly normal to be on your bike.

Next Saturday is our joint birthday party. Marianne’s birthday is this coming week and then we will end May with having done our fair share of celebrating. Dylan also lands this week but goes on to Eastern Europe so I still have two weeks before he’s staying with us. Hopefully that is enough time to notify the cheese producers that they need to up their manufacturing because Dylan just eats blocks of it at a time.