Yesterday was beautiful weatherwise so I popped the boys into Beatrix’s basket and we rode off through the city and then took the ferry over to Amsterdam Noord and met a friend and her daughters in big park. Sunshine, feeding the ducks, running loose in the fields and then stopping for ice cream on the way back made it feel like a getaway. George and Henry’s favorite part was being secretly fed french fries with oorlog (war) saus on them by the twins (they’re not quite three). Oorlog saus is a combination of sate (spicy peanut) sauce and mayonaise. It is actually really good especially when you throw raw onions on it. However, for dogs, it has some unfortunate effects!

Of course, they also got quite alot of attention on the ferry since they were in the basket and shamelessly looking at all of our fellow passengers for attention. And they did enjoy barking at passing dogs as I did all the hard work of pedaling us through the city while they sat on their blanket in the basket. When we got home, we were exhausted, just like coming home from a real vacation!

I bought my ticket today to go to Chicago. I am waiting for the weather to get a bit warmer there to go and visit Rupert and Meredith. I am looking forward to seeing them and practicing the important art of “chillaxation”that they are so good at. I also want to see them because being around them makes me happy and grateful that they are my family. Of course it helps that both of them are always game for walking around so I can collect steps on my Fitbit and having good conversations. That’s how you know people love you, when they go walking with you so you can get the 20K steps badge in a day!

Last night I got a call to come to my Living Room because someone was looking for me. It was someone I had spoken with a couple of times and really enjoyed talking to. We had another good conversation last night, more about the US since she really wants to go there. I guess I am doing my part to provide cultural differences lessons 🙂 She reminds me a bit of Eliza in terms of conversation, wine goes with. Some people are not conversation with wine but rather conversation with coffee people. Mario is a wine person.

Friday night I was out far too late for a ten am appointment on Saturday. I walked home from the last cafe and it was 4AM when I walked in the door. Important lesson learned – all Saturday appointments are now booked for noon or later. It was a really nice evening. It was warm enough to sit outside under the heat lamps and talk and laugh with a bunch of people. It is also a pretty great benefit to be able to walk home through your city by yourself around 4AM without worrying about anything.

Tomorrow is my intake interview for my second week with the nuns. I didn’t finish the pretest which should tell them enough about how far behind I am with my writing 😉

The fun continues… I have ended up with two other people to go to see Madonna with. It started out with me saying I had bought my ticket and then the two of them inviting themselves along. I like that, it is very direct. There was no doubt that they really wanted to go. These are the things that I find so much easier to understand and work with.

In the meantime, playing “Rebel Heart”and the rest of my Madonna catalog. I think Shuffle in terms of music players was one of the greatest things ever invented. So simple, but so useful. I have to say I have found some lyrics on the new album that really appeal to my mindset at the moment.

Lunch yesterday with Luc was so fun. He showed up in a Ramones t-shirt (one that originally belonged to his mother) and had the whole Twilight Edward look going on. I swear, he must rarely see the sunlight which makes sense since he works nights. I discovered a new favorite combination of feta, mint, celery and olives wrapped in a very thin dough and quickly fried. I need to learn to make those. It is the Turkish equivalent of fried cheese, I guess. Which means I immediately thought of my brother, Dylan, who is ridiculously possessive of anything that he orders containing cheese and my sister in law, Meredith, who advocates for fried cheese on a regular basis. Next time each one of them is here, I will have to introduce them to the Turkish version. Dylan will be here in the begininng of June. He did ask if those dates would work for me this time 😉

Moortje is sitting here on the desk, huddled up next to the computer. I think he likes Madonna, he seems to be purring in time. The boys are snuggled up next to my desk since they have just had lunch and come home from their outing with Kate. When you are a small dog, you need a nap after navigating the woods for 2 plus hours.

Went into the office this morning early. Since it is Friday, I wanted to get stuff done before everyone else came in. I have made a concerted effort not to work on the weekends, now that I live here. I still scan my work email but I don’t get wrapped up in work stuff. Sounds minor, but it required a very concious mind shift on my part. I am hoping that being able to do this means that I will soon be able to take vacations in the Dutch manner 🙂 completely disconnected. Less than two years ago, I would have not even been able to think about that. I remember getting so irritated during the interview process when everyone was unavailable for three weeks in August due to the annual vacation period. Haha, how far I have come 🙂

Okay, going to finish up a few things and then drop some packages in the mail. Happy weekend!

or quite literally “it shall me a sausage be”. You might be wondering what kind of drugs I must be doing. Rest assured, this is a Dutch saying. It roughly translates to “I don’t care”. I think it is hilarious. I also think it is a pretty good reminder to prioritize. I seem to be getting that message a lot lately. Prioritization. Perhaps I have been hearing that message for a while now and ignoring it. I am going to use this expression to prioritize things in my life. If there is a subject that comes up, I am going to think about it. If it gets the mental response of the Sausage Expression, then I won’t make it a priority. I think this will be so much easier for me than the 7 habits or any other popular methodology.

I went to the office today for my weekly social contact and some mandatory training. I walked to the train station instead of riding my bike because my silly Fitbit doesn’t include biking. My less fancy older Fitbit didn’t differentiate, motion was motion. However this one does so that means my feet have to hit the ground. Annoying. At the same time, it was kind of nice to just be walking and not worry about what time I was going to arrive. My most pressing concern was the wind, which was icy. I was smart to take the train because when I saw the freeway, it was backed up all the way due to an accident so I ended up getting to work faster than if I had driven. There’s also something about trains that is comforting, the rocking motion, the fact that you can stare out the window. I like those things and I like train stations.

Tomorrow is my lunch date with Luc. We are going for Turkish in a restaurant that used to be a 17th century protestant church and is now an enormous Turkish restaurant. I have been there before. I found it one day when I was trying to stay dry.

I did get my Madonna tickets. Exciting! Of course, it is not until December so I have some time to wait.

I found a pair of my mom’s gloves that still had some of her hair on them. I put them on today and it felt like I was so very connected to her. I put them away when I came home because I don’t want to use them everyday, just when I need a recharge of Mom.

In the middle of the afternoon, I find myself needing what is known in Dutch as a “frisse neus” or a fresh nose. It means that I need to shift gears from what I am doing and distract myself a little. It seems to be a perfect time to write a small post and drink tea.

Today I booked myself in for another week with the nuns. I am excited to be able to go again and dig deep into learning Dutch. I do know I will be crying again by the middle of the week in frustration. As they told me last time “we see crying as a breakthrough point. You are ahead of the week, usually this happens on Fridays”. Perhaps you could say I am an advanced student in frustration! They didn’t have room until early May so I have some time ahead of me to try to improve before I get there. Last year I met Eliza there and we turned out to be friends. I am curious to know if I will meet an Eliza 2.0.

I have also been on a bit of a concert ticket spree over the past few weeks. This morning I bought my tickets to Dotan and Within Temptation concerts. Tomorrow morning when they go on pre-sale, I will be buying my Madonna tickets. Whoop whoop! I am not really into the idea of going to great big festivals so I give those a miss. However, there are so many great old venues to see music here. For Within Temptation – which is like this crazy European rock orchestra spectacle – I am going to see them in a beautiful old building in Haarlem. Sort of like Sarah Brightman meets a thrash metal band and decides to go on tour. I owe my exposure to them due to Pieter and his infinite Spotify library.

Dotan I just like. He’s Dutch. Years ago I would have shuddered at the thought of seeing Madonna. However, as I have grown older, I have begun to appreciate her for her power and her determination. Long before the Britneys, the Christinas, the Mileys, there she was and I respect that.

I also like the experience of seeing music here. You can usually get there via transport or bike. You can always have a drink, whatever that is and you have a place to check in your coat. Ticket prices are not crazy. The best thing is that you can talk with the strangers around you without anyone thinking that you are hoping to hook up or whatever. Of course, if that’s your goal, you can have those conversations too! My point being that here, people talk across differences in age/class/ethnicity/etc without a problem. The conversation is the benefit not the means to the benefit.

Okay, one more conference call before the workday is finished. I hope my nose is now fresh!

Back to work today. I am pretty proud of the fact that I managed to not read or respond to work email during the days I took as vacation days. Well, that’s not entirely true. I did read the one that told my Fitbit battery was low and in need of charging but otherwise, I started this morning with 107 unread email messages. Which was pretty good.

I went to see the film “Wild” yesterday with Marianne. It is always good to see how much worse your life could be even if it is just in comparison to a movie character. For example, I am grateful that I have not lost my toenails and had to pull them off myself while hiking in the wilderness. Sort of makes cutting them short for banjo practice seem like no big thing.

Banjo lesson this afternoon. This time, it is at the store instead of my teacher’s house. Luckily it is sunny outside so it will be a nice bike ride over. – slight update – i walked out the door to a rainstorm.  I did wimp out and take the tram instead of my bike. I do have grooves in the tops of my fingers because of how hard I played – extra points for effort! During my lesson, a store customer came up and stared intensely through the glass door into the lesson room. That was unnerving. Perhaps he was compelled to see a banjo being tortured or wondering how Paul, my teacher, has the auditory stamina to listen and play along. Or maybe he just got confused by the glass window and thought he was in another neighborhood in Amsterdam 😉

Off to Switzerland later this month for an interview. I am excited because I took a few extra days before it and will be able to go explore. Rock out  with my inner Heidi you might say. I thought about taking the train for the full European experience but it was 8 hours each way. Whereas a flight into neighboring France was 1 hour and then an hour train ride over the border. So, this way I will still be travelling by train but getting there a little faster! I am looking forward to it!

I’m going back to the nuns next month for more Dutch. It is about time that I pay a little more attention to investing in myself and what brings me happiness rather than trying to do everything for everyone else. Or so my manager said last week in our mid year review. For me, I think I will just relish being somewhere that I can learn full time.

My mom has been with me a lot this past week. I can feel her strength in me and her love for me. I am so grateful that I can feel that still. It is also a grounding into who I am. Which I have needed. One of my favorite Mohawk Nation writers, Taikake Alfred, wrote “How you fight determines who you will become when the battle is over” . I had that as my email signature for many years. In thinking about it again, I realize that is the same teaching I have from my mom. As long as I hold onto that, I am okay.

It is raining here today which means that our evening walk will be slightly less than fun for the dynamic duo. I am watching a movie called “Defiance” which is about the Jews who lived in the forest camps of Belorussia during WWII. Perhaps the rain will stop by the time the movie is over.

I also just finished making the hutspot for tomorrow. You should make it a day in advance and let it sit so all the flavors get stronger and blend into the dish. What really makes me feel like a kitchen wizard is that I use the leftover water from hutspot as vegetable stock. Multi tasking in the kitchen makes me feel very efficient.

On my table, I have a lovely bunch of flowers. Actually, I have more than one. Today I went a little crazy and bought two bunches of exotic tulips and one of hyacinths. I know, three are a little bit excessive but I couldn’t choose between the colors. The tulips are yellow and green striped and then some that are called Rembrandts and they are this gorgeous orange and red swirled into one.

Last night I went to my second living room and had a great night full of laughter and conversation. There were some of the usual suspects there and some newer people. We talked a lot about books and the US. I spoke with a woman who has some crazy smart PhDs and wants to move to the US. I really enjoyed talking with her. That is one of the things that I enjoy so much about living here, that people talk. And it doesn’t matter what you do or what age/gender/preference/dietary habits you have, people just talk with each other. I ended up with an invitation to lunch next week from the 21 year old intellectual who’s mother also loves the Ramones. Luc likes to speak English with me. The ironic part is the real reason that Luc likes me is that I call him on his BS. He is very charming and he has a wide ranging conversational library of interesting facts but he is a serious bullshitter. So next week we have a lunch date. I think it will be fun because Luc is very good at talking.

One of the women that works in my living room came by today for coffee and brought me an enormous bouquet of beautiful flowers. We had some good coffee and dark chocolate while George snored on her lap. This is a pretty big milestone in terms of social crossings.

And now I have 4 vases full of flowers 🙂

Sometimes you can have an experience that is like looking through a store window. What you see in that window is everything you could have ever imagined, your biggest dreams come true. You naturally begin to imagine that dream being real and how your life will change in all these fantastic ways. And then it is closing time for the store and the lights in the window display go off and the rolldown shutters to keep people from breaking the glass come down as well. You are left staring at nothing. I had one of those experiences recently and I was trying to think of the best way to describe it since I am not that handy in either English or Dutch at the moment.

Waiting to Skype with R. in about 30 minutes. I think it was scheduled for tonight anyway, I neglected to put it in my phone right away because I was still thinking through the conversation I had with him on Friday.

Henry and George are nicely next to me on the sofa. George always like to sleep with something over his nose, like his own paw. I know I say it often but I am so grateful for my pets. Without them to push me to get up in the morning, go potty, eat kibble, eat yoghurt, give hugs I would probably have some much rougher mornings. It is hard to disappoint such little beings. And I like the fact that every being in my house snores. George has the best one, it is like a deep yoga inhalation (which is where he makes the noise) and then he lets it back out. Henry chuffs while he snores, blowing air out the side of his cheeks. Moortje snores and it sounds like you are scratching your skin. Lientje makes quiet little ladylike snores. And me, I snore like a grizzy and apparently the more relaxed I am, the louder I snore.

Not feeling so good today. I am walking around in a state of nausea. And my stomach feels like it is literally in knots. I didn’t give myself a case of food poisoning.

I am really missing Mom today and I know that the nausea and the stomach pain is emotionally generated. I think maybe tomorrow I will go look for an acupuncturist or the equivalent. I will make sure not to get confused and go for a body piercer because that could have unexpected results.

It has been one of those weeks and I am glad the weekend is here even if I seem to still be running around like a crazy woman. The weather is not super cooperative today so we started Saturday with a refusal to go pee outside and instead save it for the living room. Let me clarify, that would be the dogs taking that action just so you aren’t wondering!

Last night I went to Sjoerd and Marieke’s for dinner and I took the tram thinking it would ensure I arrived drier than if I took my bike. Negative. I don’t think I could have arrived any more soaked than I did. As a matter of fact, Sjoerd thought I had ridden my bike. We had a very nice vegan dinner and a long evening of conversation, complete with a break for Skyping with R. I got home around 2am via taxi which was strange because I am so not used to taxi rides.

Tonight Sjoerd is playing with some old Dutch rock and rollers in a tiny place called the Old Nickel in the Redlight district. I will head over there but without my banjo. Although I firmly believe that banjo music belongs everywhere, I am not quite ready for a stage debut with the three songs and one Christmas carol I have memorized. I just hope it stays dry long enough to cycle over there. And if not, my hair will be as wild as everyone else’s.

Somewhat surprising is that next week, I will have houseguests. Lawyerella and her mother will be visiting Amsterdam for a few days. I am, of course, trying to back off from my first reaction which is to plan everything. I think I will show great improvement and ask “What would you like to do while you are here?” I did, however, already order the museum cards and refilled the tram tickets 😉 I can only leave so many details up to others!

Unfortunately, I burned my dinner tonight. Well, at the very least I overcooked it. So I decided not to eat it. The boys were somewhat disappointed that it went into the garbage instead of on their plates.

Tomorrow morning, a regular yoga class – not bikram. I haven’t been there before so I am curious to see what it is like. And to add to my Dutch vocabulary. For now, I am going to take a nap before I go out because I am an old lady!

I have spent most of the day diving into numbers and spreadsheets for a big meeting tomorrow. Let me just say that at a certain point, I start questioning which numbers are the truth and how do you determine if they are? Which makes the whole exercise that much more painful. Around lunchtime, I took a walk around the block to get a fresh nose as they say in Dutch. It is sunny today and just a little windy so it was a nice pause. The terraces open again officially on 1 March so I am looking forward to that!

I will let you guess which one. One of the dogs rolled in something rotten yesterday because their little jacket stinks. Trouble is, I am not sure who was wearing which jacket since they are both Husky purple. It stinks enough that I don’t even want to put it into the washer until I can get some vinegar to rinse the washer out with afterwards.

Of all things today, I am listening to Dierks Bentley. Of course, the other day it was 2Cellos. And that is a literal description, these two cellists from Eastern Europe that cover rock songs. It is awesome, I feel smarter for just listening to it 😉

Melissa Etheridge is coming to Utrecht in April. I bought a ticket and I am looking forward to it. And I will be going to see the comic Russell Peters in Rotterdam that same week. Way to go culture! Actually, I think it is probably because sometimes I need to hear English so I can feel like I understand nuances and subtext and humor again.

I started reading “Gone with the Wind” again yesterday. I have been eager to reread it since seeing the movie. I want to see how much it differs from the book I read as a much younger person.

Tonight is a Skype call with R. It will be our second such call. I think it will be interesting. I usually have the dogs in my lap so they can Skype as well. Yeah, we’re a tech savvy household. Henry keeps asking for an iPhone 6. But he wants one that has the right screen so he can swipe with his nose.

As it stands, I thought I would take a moment to post while I am waiting for my lunch to heat up. The advantages of not having a magnetron (aka microwave) include that you get extra time to do things while waiting for your food to cook. In this case, 20 minutes to post while my crazy spinach, Field Roast and vegan mac ‘n’ cheeze leftovers reheat. Trust me, it tastes better than it sounds. And it looks much better than it did when I started. I do have to say that cooked spinach is still one of the most unappetizing sites ever when it comes to food. You just can’t make it look good!

I think I am finally caught up from being gone for ten days. Of course, that means that now I have all sorts of other things to look forward to and try to stay current on. What I really want is a vacation. First I have to get through some difficult meetings next week.

Banjo is moving along. I didn’t quite have both songs memorized that I needed to for this week’s lesson but I had made steady enough progress to prove that I had been practicing more often at home. Although, two nights ago when I went to practice, Henry actually made a crying sound like he had been kicked as soon as I started the first few notes. Not exactly a subtle message. Fortunately, while I was in the US, I ordered a banjo practice board all the way from Tennessee. I wondered if I would be able to carry it on the airplane, after all you never know with the TSA. I was able to. And now I can practice whenever I want. This is particularly useful during LONG conference calls.

Black Sails Season 2 has started. Okay, I know that in real life pirates were smelly, violent and generally all around not the folks you might want to hang out with. I have to admit that watching this series is lots of fun for me. Perhaps it goes back to “Pirates of the Caribbean” being tied for my favorite ride at Disneyland (the other one was the Haunted Mansion). Or perhaps I just like the idea of roaming around in seriously dirty clothes as opposed to the usually polished and perfect people that you see on TV. I don’t need to justify it (old habit). It is okay to just like it 🙂

Tonight I am meeting up with Marianne and Joris for drinks, I think. I think it is drinks not that I am not certain I am not meeting up with them. Maybe it will be dinner? Might be nice since I am about tired of my own cooking again!

I was invited to Nairobi tomorrow. Sadly I had to decline and offer to be present via tele-conferencing. It would have been cool to go but for a 2 hour meeting, 18 hours of flying roundtrip isn’t really justifiable!

We’re all okay here, just overscheduled 🙂