The kitchen is open

December

I decided to get a head start on cooking for Christmas. Partially because the last thing I want to be doing is having a freakout on the day when nothing is going to plan. And also because my particular brand of anxiety likes to manifest itself by constantly thinking about what needs to be done. Tonight I made five pounds of mashed potatoes with shallots and garlic. I forgot to add the chives but I will do that before they go into the oven to warm up. I also found this recipe on the PCC website for shaved brussel sprouts with hazelnuts and sage. I couldn’t find sage here so I improvised and added a few other things. I tend to think of recipes as guides rather than to be followed exactly. This is precisely why when I try to bake, it’s usually a disaster. Anyway, the brussel sprouts are doing their marinading thing and will be roasted eventually.

Tomorrow morning I pick up the ham. This should be interesting. I managed to find a real pineapple today and I have plenty of cloves and mandarines and mustard. Apparently, you are supposed to trace some sort of pattern on the ham and decorate accordingly. This kind of reminds of that toy “Lite Bright”that I always wanted as a kid and didn’t end up getting. In retrospect, I understand why. I think it had something like 100 pegs. That sort of toy is just asking to have pegs lost all over the place.

I have seven kinds of cheese for the cheese plate. I roasted the pecans for the kale caesar and I did some other prepwork for the big day. And then I had to clean up my mess. Bummer. It is these moments that make me wish George could reach the countertops and really be helpful.

We went to the vet today because George will need a new prescription for his anti-seizure medications and Henry’s eyes looked irritated. It turns out that Henry has an infection in his gum that is causing his sinus to swell up. So, on the 8th of January, both of them will go in for teeth cleaning and George will also get a fatty deposit removed since it is small now. We really liked the vet. He said other than that the boys were a shining example of good health. Nice. When we were leaving, I looked in the other exam room because the lady next to me came out and her cat had obviously just been put to sleep. It was so sad. I remember how hard that was with Mikha. So, I told her right away how sorry I was and I started crying. The saddest part was her cat looked just like Moortje, which really hit me hard for a second. It has been 3.5 years since I went through that with Mikha and all of sudden it was like yesterday. We have them in our lives for such a short time it seems. Mikha was almost 18.

I’ve been reading this book called “Living at the end of life” trying to get a better sense of the dying process and to understand what Mom went through and what I might have missed. But also to see if I can gain an acceptance for how I cared for her. Hospice wasn’t much help for us so I have these thoughts that make me wonder what I might have done wrong. I have been thinking alot about her death and the way that she went. I am glad I didn’t know it was so imminent because I would have treated her differently I think. How could you not? Instead, the last words I said to her were “You did a great job drinking. I am going to make a phone call and when I come back we’ll try some more. I love you, Momma.” And she looked at me and nodded. And while I was on the phone with hospice, she slipped away with the dogs in her lap, face to the sunshine.

It is just really inconceivable to me that she is not here anymore. That while I have things that belonged to her, notes in her writing, her favorite black pants, her furniture, her dogs she is not here. It still doesn’t make any sense to me at all.

Zwolle, Zwanenberg and Antwerpen

December

If you are wondering where I have been lately, well – I was busy discovering my inner “feest beest” but more about that later.
 
Since I last wrote, I have been up to a few things and learned some things about myself along the way as well. And I have made some very amusing blunders in the Dutch language. For example, referring to one government department as the “Ministery of Foreign Testicles and Diplomacy” instead of the “Ministery for Foreign Matters and Diplomacy”. In referring to someone’s wife, who I was introducing, I said “his old bitch” instead of “his wife”. This where all the z,w,v,g,j sounds in Dutch start to cause trouble for me. It is a good thing I plan to go the immersion Dutch class in February.
 
On Thursday, my team at work was scheduled to go to Zwolle to practice collaboration. In Zwolle, there is a very famous restaurant called “De Librije”. It has three Michelin stars. And they have a cooking school. So, my team had the challenge of making a five course dinner that everyone would eat. Before we went there, I had, of course, checked out where I was going. I took the train up to Zwolle and walked around the old centrum of the city. I took pictures, talked the locals and got a sense of direction. And as I was trying to take the last great picture before it got dark, my mobile fell out of my hands and cracked the screen on the ancient bricks. Yep. I had two trains of thought”. The first was that I have become far too accustomed to taking pictures with my phone instead of a camera and now I wasn’t going to be able to take anymore. And the second thought was I should have followed Mom’s habits and bought those gloves that have the nubs on them because not being able to get grip on my phone with my gloves on was exactly why it had fallen out of my hands. My mom used to buy them by the 10 pack every winter when Bartell’s would start carrying them. At 1.99 a pair, they didn’t last much beyond a winter. I found alot of them in the move.
 
Anyway, back to the cooking school. When we got there as a group, I already had an architectural crush, just looking at the entrance. And once inside, i noticed that all of the doors had viewing portals in them, which i thought was weird and slightly creepy. From my reading, I knew that women had lived there. However, what I failed to translate is that it had been a women’s prison, not a retirement home. And it had been a prison for a long time. They stopped using it as a prison in the 1980s and then turned it into an asylum center for refugees. In the 1990s, they stopped using it. They still have one of the original cells set up. The kitchen that we would cook in was the old prison kitchen. And while everything is quite charming now, it would be completely different experience to be coming in through those massive gates and iron fences as a prisoner, rather than a would be cook.
 
I have a big team so we were divided into groups of four to make each course and then we would sit at the very long table together and eat one course and then the next team would finish their course and serve it. It was tremendously good fun. My Mom always wanted to rent some big house somewhere in Italy or France with an enormous kitchen where people could cook together. I don’t know that if in reality that it would have worked out as well as her idea – especially since she was not a fan of too many flavors mixing! But I understand the joy that such an idea creates because it was really fun. My team was in charge of the vegetarian appetizer which was a Jerusalem artichoke, mushroom, apple and almond salad with horseradish creme. One of my coworkers has proper chef like skills and a reputation for being a good cook. My partner and I were novices and ironically enough, we have the same Myers Briggs type. We are the only two on the team who are ENTJs. Christian is a perfectionist. And when I cook, I just cook so every time a slip of peel from the Jerusalem artichoke would land in the bowl, I would just keep going. Christian would notice it and tell me “ÿou are getting peels in the bowl again. No peels in the bowl” and then he would go and fish it out. Well, a little fiber never hurt anyone. And then I started trying to see if I could get peels into the bowl without him noticing. Same attention to detail when were making the horseradish sauce and I need to pour the oil in at precisely the right speed. So, I would slow down and slow down even further. Like I said, I was having fun.
 
I really liked all of us being at the table together. It was cheerful, chaotic and warm. I thought the sommelier would have a heart attack when he noticed Daphne, who was sitting next to me, pour a whole handful of ice cubes in her wine glass. He literally clutched his chest. I think Daphne’s reasons were perfectly sound. As she said, she’s trying not to stress out her liver so she adds ice to her wine! Of course, at one point she poured so much salt on her food, our general manager reached across the table and took it away from her. Being able to be around people like that, without pretense is so refreshing.
 
After our dinner, which ended around 1130, everyone went to the wine cellar for coffee and tea. And from there, the question came up – “Who wants to go out in Zwolle?” I decided such an opportunity was not to be missed and since I already had to be on the 715am train back to Amsterdam for a 9AM meeting, I might as well go. So, we went to the Zwolle disco. Yes. That was not a typo. Twice I managed to get them to play Macklemore & Ryan Lewis because I wanted to dance to something I recognized. And at 430 AM when the disco closed, I was able to navigate everyone safely back to the hotel via foot thanks to my earlier tourist wanderings. Of course, we made the obligatory stop at a wall snack bar – the FEBO was closed so we had to settle for a knockoff. It was gross. The “cheese souffle” had neither cheese nor souffle flavor. It tasted like the smell of wood chips. I didn’t finish it.
 
Back to the hotel by 5AM and on the train at 715. A full day of meetings with people from other teams and then an invitation to Daphne’s house in Zwanenberg for potluck fondue and make your own Christmas pot. I wasn’t really sure what a Christmas pot was but since Daphne was kind enough to invite me, I decided to go. I bravely took the train to Zwanenberg and missed the hourly bus from the train station. Setting out in the dark, the map said it was 1.7km from the train station to Daphne’s. But that it would take 28 minutes to walk. I sincerley thought this was a case of broodje aap (monkey sandwich). Nope, it wasn’t. It’s 1.7 km alright, but you can’t get there via a straight line because there is a massive free in the middle that has no pedestrian access and you have to follow it until you get to the underpass. Eventually, I got there. I learned alot of new Dutch at the table, especially about labor and delivery since several of the attendees were pregnant or recently delivered. My little Christmas pots turned out slightly less than impressive – no art skills. However, I gifted them to Marianne for Christmas when I saw her later in the evening.
 
On Saturday, it was time to go to Antwerp, in Belgium for the work Christmas party. I hemmed and hawed about going because I was nervous, having never been to a work Christmas party and really, I was just looking for reasons to stay home. So, I gave myself a swift kick in the pants and packed up the party dress and got on the train. Antwerp is a beautiful city. And they speak Dutch there, well, Flemish. I am glad I went. The party was actually pretty good. At first, I was worried because I felt like I didn’t know anyone and boy, was it going to be a long evening if that was the case. It turns out the room was just so big, I needed to walk around. And they were serving guacamole!!! This might seem ordinary to you but it is not something that you easily come across here. And then of course, there was the after party. Til 5AM in some Belgian club playing Industrial music in the middle of the red light district. At one point, we were going the wrong way which lead me to question my coworkers as to why in the hell were they assuming I knew where I was going since this was my first time in Antwerp?? Walking back was not so much fun since the temperature dropped considerably.
 
A few hours later, I got up to wander Antwerp before getting back on the train. And I had the famous Belgian French fries for breakfast. Actually, they are Flemish fries – “Vlaamse frites”.
 
That was sort of my last weekend of indulgence. I have a terrible craving for kombucha lately which tells me that I am a little out of balance.Luckily, I just bottled my first batch today so it will be ready to serve at Christmas dinner. And I found some very good German kombucha at my Ekoplaza. The small bottles I bought at the coffee shop were so sweet, they taste like soda so I didn’t finish them. The German kombucha smells like sulfur but has a lemon taste – not sure how they do that! And my Goldfinch Kombucha Scoby grew a beautiful daughter SCOBY, two actually so I could start another jar because I promised one to the clerk at Mr. Coffee. So, I am going to go back to more of my usual habits – stepping away from the cheese, etc. Otherwise, there will always be another cheese to try! Especially in this country!
 
And next week, we are celebrating eerste Kerstdag here at my house. They celebrate two days here. Eerst or first (the 25th) and Tweede or second (the 26th). The 25th is more for immediate family and the 26th is for in-laws and friends. And Dylan, one of my brothers, arrivés on the 25th for two weeks…
 
So, I talked with Joanne about having it here. Normally, she’s the hostess with the mostest. It should be good. Today, I found the meat for the meat eaters and I ordered it. You might be thinking that I am flush with confidence from my cooking school adventure – actually, it would be more accurate to say I am even more aware of how much I don’t know! What I am hoping for is that we will have a long evening filled with good dialogue, yummy food and warmth. I am going to start cooking this weekend. That way, I have room to fix if something goes haywire. And selfishly, I want to keep very busy because it is going to be very hard to not have Mom here.

Food and Friendship

December

Last night we went for our weekly recycling walk, to drop off the collection of plastics. Unfortunately, the dumpster that is the drop off point was not only full but had a mountain of plastic bags full of plastic recyclables stacked up next to it. I remembered from being here in April/May that there was also a plastic recycling dropoff near the Sarphati Park so we walked over there. I was wrong, it is just glass and paper. However, walking to the park, I walked past a little coffee place called Mr.Bean and guess what, they also sell kombucha! They were closed since it was after 9PM but I put it on my todo list.

Today I took a lunch break to go and walk over and get some kombucha. I have been craving it. And I do have some Goldfinch Kombucha brewing, thanks to my good friend, Jan, who gifted me with a going away SCOBY. However, kombucha takes anywhere between 21-28 days to be ready and I needed something to get me through the wait. What good timing! Mr.Bean sells a German brand of kombucha and they are going to stop selling in the Netherlands, because they haven’t seen the sales take off. So, I am going to give Mr.Bean a daughter SCOBY after my batch is done so they can brew their own. I bought six of the little bottles of Carpe Diem kombucha and I will have to make them last until mine is ready. I tasted it already so I know I am on the right track. So, Jan, Goldfinch Kombucha meets Amsterdam, one SCOBY at a time.

On Friday evening, I met up with Marianne to see the newest Coen brothers film Ïnside LLewyn Davis. What’s different about going to the movies in the Netherlands? You get reserved seats! And no one is eating popcorn either. Prior to the movie, we went to really good organic Indian food. Above the cafes and outdoor ice rink in the Leidseplein, is this amazing Indian restaurant. You would never know it was there unless you were specifically looking for it. It has a very Ayurvedic bent and the chef is actually the one who comes out and takes your order because he crafts the food accordingly to what you are looking for. I cannot wait to eat there again! It reminded me of something my mom used to say about getting spices right in cooking, that it was an art and she didn’t have it which is why she didn’t like cooking. And then I like cooking but if I used too many different flavors and spices, she didn’t want to eat that either – she would tell me that I was mixing too many things together! I probably could learn alot from the chef at the restaurant. Anyway, the food was good and so was the conversation. That’s the nice part about being around smart and multi-lingual people – they can help me through my conversation. It suddenly dawned on me that maybe having a conversation with me in Dutch is like talking to a toddler. Heh, I think that’s funny and probably true.

As if Friday’s dinner wasn’t good enough, Saturday night I went out for Indonesian around the corner with my cousin, Sjoerd. I posted a picture of the rijstafel so you can see what it looks like. All of the grandchildren from my Oma and Opa have straight hair, except for Sjoerd and I. We got Oma’s curls and can equally go to frizz – and I think you can probably also tell the change in humidity by Sjoerd’s hair as well. You can’t go somewhere with Sjoerd without laughing or having some kind of experience of the ridiculous. I think he has that kind of magnet. Or it could be the three double espressos he drank in a row after dinner. From the rijstafel, we went to the krug. A krug is a real old Dutch bar. Lots of wood, lots of interesting inhabitants, and usually kind of dark and small as opposed to a wine bar or some kind of hip place. You sit at the bar, drinking many small beers, listening to whatever musical whim the bartender has and you talk and laugh and cry. And throughout the night, you watch the people. Which is a really great way to spend an evening.

What it really all has in common, this past weekend and so many other interactions, is that I am so very fortunate in the friends that I have. And especially during this past year, each of you gave something to me that I needed or that Mom needed. Please know that I treasure you.

 

Stormy Weather

December

like the jazz standard goes, except here in the Netherlands, it is a Code Red day. It has been quite a storm. I am by no means a small woman and the wind was pushing me around. The trains going to the north were stopped because the winds were that high. They were also closing off the dikes. We just managed to make it around the block during a lull before it kicked up again. The boys do not like wind. Of course, when you are that low to the ground, a good gust of wind can easily make you fly especially if you have big ears.
 
I was going to go out for Surinaams food tonight but in light of the storm, I stayed home and ate leftovers instead. I will try again tomorrow. After reading that there are 178 nationalities represented in Amsterdam, I going to try and find as many different restaurants as I can with cuisines I am not familiar with. This promises to be interesting. Of course, some things just won’t make it on the list like Argentinian steakhouses.
 
The rain just started again, it is pouring so hard it sounds like hail. Earlier I went out to lock up the shed and make sure that nothing can fly around in the garden and cause damage.
 
It has been a busy week. Tonight is also Sinterklaas so most people are celebrating it with their families. This is the kind of a bigger deal than Christmas really. This is the day that kids get their gift. Note: I said gift – that’s not a typo. There isn’t a deluge of gifts given because that’s just not done. You also get a stocking.
 
This week I went to Utrecht for work. I’d like to go there again in the summer. There are canals there from the 12th century or so and in the summer they are all open as terraces. So you are below the street level.
 
Missing Mom alot right now and having a rough time with other people having their mothers. It is jealousy and sometimes it gets really overwhelming. It will subside a little but right now I am in one of those periods.

Thanksgiving

December

Wow, I have a good case of food coma. I just walked back from the Indonesian restaurant in the neighborhood and let me just say, it was REALLY good. I had an excellent sate tempeh and a vegetarian nasi rames- which is like a buffet of many tiny dishes on one plate. I thought my mom would approve and it was my way of remembering her today. I didn’t really want to think much about last Thanksgiving, since she had a chemo treatment scheduled for the next day so I decided that I would do something very different cuisine wise today. I do remember her vividly telling the oncologist how much she ate at Thanksgiving and telling him that her four children had all managed to get along, even if they were faking it, which just proved to her that they could. Even then, she still had that feisty spark. Sometimes it is unbelievable how much I miss her. I think it is a pretty accurate metaphor to describe grief as a hole that you can’t measure.

Also, at work, the pension speaker’s first name was Marijke. That was hard to sit through.

All of the boxes and wrapping paper are neatly stacked on the curb, waiting for tomorrow’s collection. Suddenly, there’s so much floor space. The usual Craigslist shenanigans applied with people sending 10 emails back and forth and then not showing up. In the end, it needed to go out because it is a target for small dogs wishing to write pee-mail. Actually, I am not really giving them enough credit. Given how much I have been working outside of the house this week, they have done very well.

The words aren’t really coming tonight so I think I will let them rest.

Impressionable Young Minds

November

I learned something new about Word Press today. Saving something as a draft doesn’t mean it will. I had written this post originally on the train returning from Venlo. The internet connection on the train was wobbly so I decided to save a draft and go back to watching the countryside go by. Well, the draft it saved contained the title and lots of white space.

Anyway, I went to Venlo today to give a lecture on software testing to the computer science students. Their professor made it a mandatory attendance which is always fun to know your audience is captive. I like to think that I entertained them and gave them something to think about. For sure, at the end several of them told me they were highly skeptical of getting any value out of this lecture but with mandatory attendance they didn’t feel they had an option. And they told me they were quite surprised and they thought it was the best lecture they had all year. I guess I would have to say it was my Game of Thrones references that really worked. Or as one of the professors said (in Dutch) to me “You really like to entertain. That’s a very American thing, isn’t it?” They gave me a bottle of wine afterwards, as a “thank you”. Venlo sits all the way in the eastern part of the Netherlands. It is a couple of hours by train. It is equivalent, scale wise, of travelling from Seattle to Tennessee. Not quite all the way out beyond the borders but close. From what I understand, Germany is 5 km away from where I was.

It did give me some things to think about on the way back to Amsterdam. One, I really love the fact that my employer gives me a first class Dutch railways train card for these kinds of trips. I felt very Ms. Fancy Pants sitting in the First Class cars. It is just more space and they are silent cars, meaning no cell phone conversations. Two, I do like to entertain – I like to talk to groups of people and learn from them. I think information sticks better when you make it relevant and interesting. Who wants to be bored during a presentation? Whatever else happens career wise here, as long as I stick to what I really like doing – problem solving with people, I’ll be okay. That doesn’t change, regardless of location.

Some very good news came out of Seattle this morning. Mom had wanted a Sleep Number bed for a long time. Last year, before we knew she was sick, I told her after my annual review, I was taking the pay raise and getting her the bed she wanted. I took Lawyerella along to pick it out because as I have been told “you don’t know really know anything about being comfortable”. This is very true. Well, we picked the right one and it was delivered to the new house in time for Mom, when she came out of the hospital/skilled care. She loved that bed. I slept next to her on it every night and I can tell you that there were many nights I would wake up because she was changing the level of her feet or her back, etc. I think it made her somewhat more comfortable. And I put it right in the living room so she wasn’t isolated, she was the heart of our family and belonged in the heart of the house. After she was gone, I told Rupert that I wanted the bed to go to someone else who could benefit from it, either because they couldn’t get a hospital bed or because they had to spend a lot of time in bed. We were in agreement on this. I didn’t just want to put it on Craigslist or blindly donate it to Goodwill. During this move process, it remained in the house, one last unfinished thing and I was getting worried about what to do. Well, today it went to someone with ALS. ALS is also known as “Lou Gehrig’s disease”. The ALS society picked it up and they were driving it straight to their client. It appears the family had been looking for a bed like that for their loved one for a while now. It seems like the intention was answered, it just took a little longer. So that feels really good.

For all of you headed to Thanksgiving tomorrow, be safe and enjoy yourself. Over here, it’s a regular work day and then tomorrow night, I am taking myself out for Indonesian food – to start a different kind of Thanksgiving dietary tradition.

Oh, and for Nespresso fans, there’s a new campaign with George Clooney all over it. I took a picture of the ad and put it in the folder. I think it’s pretty funny.

Live from the Sofa

November

Yes, that’s right. I am sitting on a sofa. Furthermore, it is a sofa in my living room and I am being serenaded by the snoring symphony of the dogs, who are sitting next to me on this sofa. It gets better. Every single box is unpacked. I am not claiming it is all organized but every box has been unpacked and its contents are in the room they belong in. Yeah, I have been busy. The next portion is finding someone who might want all of these heavy duty boxes and packing paper before Friday. I hate to just put them out for recycling so I will post them on Craigslist. Perhaps someone can use some or all of them.
 
It has been a busy couple of days around here. The movers were here on Thursday and they did a great job. Including two coffee breaks and a lunch, they were done with everything in 3 hours. Only one thing was missing and that was the footboard to the guest bed. It went to long term storage so they came back on Friday morning to bring it and finish assembling the bed. I have been really fortunate to have such good crews of people helping me with this stuff. And yes, even though we are on the ground floor, we did have to use the window to get the armchairs in. They were just a touch too wide to go through the front door. Joanne came down on Thursday to take pictures and help me unpack. It was good have company with all of the boxes. And she must have been channeling Move Goddess because she pointed out that if we flattened and folded the packing paper, we could get a lot more into the boxes that way. I was just on a crazy woman tear, unwrapping as fast as I could.
 
On Friday, IKEA came to deliver the sofa I had ordered the day after we arrived. I was dreading it because I ordered the same sofa that I had in Seattle (and is now in Lawyerella’s office) and I assembled it while Rupert watched earlier in the year because IKEA assembly takes a combination of motor skills, high frustration threshold, picture interpretation skills and the willingness to start all over when it becomes apparent you went awry. Assembling sofa 1 in Seattle did take the better part of an evening. However, since February (when Rupert and I had our IKEA adventure) it appears that they have changed the packaging. Ignoring the picture diagrams that insist it is a two person job, I went ahead confidently and started assembling. My mom always used to tell me, especially with IKEA stuff, to never tighten the screws all the way, just go part of the way until you are done. And of course, I had this in my head while I am charging along, feeling pretty good that I am showing this sofa who is boss. To the point that as I tightened all four bolts all the way, I said out loud “I know what you would say, Mom. But look I tightened everything all the way and nothing happened.” Moving along to step 4 in the pictogram, I proceed to turn the sofa right side up so I can attach the arms. This is the easiest IKEA item I have ever assembled. And as I finish turning the sofa right side up, it promptly falls apart. You knew this was coming, didn’t you? Turns out, I was so busy tightening the bolts, I didn’t stop to check that they were actually lined up and connecting both pieces together. So, out comes the special IKEA gadget to undo all the bolts that I had tightened and I am back to square one. Assembly the second time was much more effective. And when I was securing the arms, I didn’t tighten all the bolts at first.
 
Surprisingly, during all of this household upheaval, the cats are pretty happy. They are out and about. I think that they feel more comfortable with having things that smell familiar around them. It feels pretty good to have my stuff here. The dogs are loving the fact that they have all of their fleece blankets again. And we have their Chuck-It. Yesterday, we took it to the park and they ran their little legs off playing their versions of “Fetch”. They are doing much better at being free in the park and they even go up to where the other dogs congregate and play. They know now that when we get to the park boundaries, their leashes come off. Of course, the advantage of a tired dog is that they sleep solidly for hours, which gave me plenty of time to unpack instead of constantly being interrupted by George’s offers to “help”.
 
Yesterday, we celebrated Joanne’s birthday with a day out. Joanne, Marloes (her sister in law), Marianne and I took a small ferry over to Amsterdam-Noord to this giant warehouse that was like an etsy marketplace on steroids. All kinds of stuff, for your house, for your person, for hobbies you didn’t know you were interested in, you get the drift. This was perfect timing for me since having all my things delivered and unpacking really made me not want to ever buy anything again! I did end up buying three very fun winter bonnets from a Bosnian women’s collective because I don’t have any winter hats and Mom was the knitter, not me. Of course, I cried. Actually, all of us were pretty restrained in our retail habits. But there were some people that were walking out of there with both arms full of stuff. From there, we had dinner in this restaurant called Du Pont (The Point) which I think used to be the harbormaster’s house back in the day. Dinner came complete with a big grey cat sleeping on the bench at our table. Most cafes/restaurants have a cat, to keep the mouse/rat population down. The food was really good. And from there, we went to see the film “La Grande Belleza” at the EYE. It was an Italian film subtitled in Dutch. There’s a lot of the story I didn’t get, because I was trying to read the Dutch and I am just not that fast. It was a very good movie though and we were all tempted to get on the night train to Rome from Amsterdam Centraal. And then I took the tram home.
 
Today, it was back to unpacking and then to the park for more ball. The sun was out this afternoon and it just hits the sofa perfectly so we all enjoyed an hour of naptime. Marianne came by mid afternoon for coffee – this is awesome because I now have a place for people to sit! And then it was back to unpacking. After I finished the last box, we went for our night walk and then I said “you may now turn on your computer, grasshopper”. So, while I will still have a few hours work organizing things, the big part is behind me. This is the fastest I have ever unpacked. And tomorrow morning, I can just start work without banging my knees on a radiator or wondering where things are.
 
One last thing. There is a lot of tax in the Netherlands. You pretty much pay tax on everything, it’s included in the stated price. Of course, there’s a dog tax. It is about 110 euros per dog, per year. I registered the boys online last week, because the fine is even worse. On Saturday, in the post, came their credentials. For my 110 euros per dog, they each get a heavy medallion that goes on their collar that has the logo of the city of Amsterdam and their registration number. We’re not talking wimpy little aluminum tags that you make yourself at the pet store in one of those machines, we are talking industrial grade tags here. The boys look so tough with them on, I want to laugh. They have to wear this every time they leave the house. And all dogs, whether they are dachshund sized or Great Dane get the same sized tag. I think they could give that rapper French Montana a run for his money when it comes to looking tough in their bling.

Furniture tomorrow!

November

How exciting! Tomorrow morning, between 830 and 930, our stuff should arrive. My goal: tomorrow night, I will be sleeping in my bed. It will also be very nice to have something to sit on. Yesterday, I made a desk out of the radiator. It worked for awhile but I kept banging my knees into it. So much of the furniture I have was either my mom’s or her parents. A good portion of it came from the Netherlands, from my Oma and Opa’s house. Including their radio which will now work. Everything that is coming has either a memory or a purpose. I owe a thanks to the Move Goddess for giving me those two baseline criteria to use to decide if I keep something. I also have a lot of things that my mom saved for each of us. I brought those things too and they will go into long term storage until my brothers decide what they want to have. Sometimes I feel like an archivist. I look at it as these things were important to my mother to preserve and care for and so I will continue to do so. And there are some things I am just not ready to let go of.

I made a decision, in the early days after she was gone, to go through at a high level and donate things that I knew would be of use and that it would make her happy to think of where they ended up. With all of her beautiful yarns and knitting needles and things like that, I gave to the women who came cleaned the house every week, allowing me more time with my mom. I gave most of her regular clothes away, things that she didn’t wear often because she was saving them for some sort of occasion. I gave all of the special food and vitamins to the Food Bank. Things like that. But after going through the first layers, I stopped because then it was things that really reminded me of her or that she had made or worn to certain events. In my carryon bag, I packed her last hairbrush and the super soft slippers that Lawyerella had given her and her purse with her lipsticks still in it. And the pillow which I used to tuck under her head to support her just right. Those things all came with me.

Something else that is coming tomorrow is the little pewter memento urn I have of her ashes. It wasn’t allowed to fly because the TSA can’t see through it or some such nonsense so I had to trust it to the movers to pack properly. Which they did. They put it into a kitchen box, figuring that it would be one of the first things I would unpack and drew a big heart on the box so I would be able to notice it right away. I have been worried about it since it was packed really.

I guess this would be a happy entry but I’m crying pretty hard right now. It is like all of a sudden her death has happened again.

Care for a sprout?

November

Well, tonight I made a slight dent in the sprouts. I think I still have about 1.75 pounds left. I also learned how the oven works. This might seem like a no brainer activity but since it actually doesn’t come with any information knobs, you do have to read the manual. I am really grateful that the owners left all of the appliance manuals behind. You should have seen me trying to figure out how the dryer filter needed to come out and where the hell the condenser was. I am an old pro at emptying the water condenser out now but without the manual, I would have been either waiting for spring to dry laundry so I could hang it outside or I would have been looking for a Laundromat. I roasted the sprouts with sesame seeds, potatoes, shallots and the special Provence herbs that really did come from France (via Jo) and it came out pretty tasty. Of course, in the last 10 minutes, I threw some really aged Bastiansen cheese on top and mustard and I think that did the trick for sealing all of the flavors together. I have PLENTY leftover so there’s dinner for tomorrow.

Today was also the arrival of Sinterklaas and Zwart Piet into the Netherlands. Since Sinterklaas Day is celebrated in early December rather than Santa coming at Christmas, the festivities are underway. Of course, they arrive by boat into the canals and then switch to horses and they ride through the city. I was thinking about going but decided to wait until next year. I knew there would be a big crowd and it felt like something that would be more fun to do with other people rather than going by myself. Overall, I am okay with going most places by myself but this was a celebration and I felt like it should be shared. So, I will wait until next year.

Instead, I took the boys to Beatrix Park again. Conditioning, right? Well, George got much closer to the water this time, like right up to it. And there’s lots of groups of people doing group exercise training so he felt that surely he should join in and run with them. It was hilarious to watch and so typical George thinking he is being helpful. They did really well with other dogs today in the park so maybe this will work. As soon as they go back on the leash though, they go right back to being little thugs. I am always apologetic to the other dog owners when the boys go into thug mode but so far it seems like it is not a big deal. Everyone has been very cool about it. It just seems to be one of those things that is no big deal. Dogs bark at each other. Hmm, maybe all three of us have to learn together to chill out…

I went on a quest today to secure a handset for the home phone. I know, in this day and age, who has a landline? Apparently, I do and the cable company keeps sending me reminders that I haven’t connected my home phone or my television yet. Well, there’s an easy explanation for that – I don’t have anything to hook up. So, I went this store called the “KijkShop” literally translates to the “LookShop”. And that’s exactly what you do. Everything in the store is behind a locked glass case. You go through and browse it and when you see something you want to buy, you write down the article number, price and quantity on these helpful little forms. Then you go to the cashier and you give them the form and gnomes send your order up from the basement. Well, I don’t know if it really gnomes, it could be people. Unfortunately, the basic house phone handset that I wanted was not available so they had to make a reservation for me to pick it up. However, the dog poop bags at 3 rolls for 1.29 euros were so I didn’t leave entirely empty handed. It is kind of a strange experience, like browsing a museum. If the display cabinets are ordered by importance, the first cabinet is all coffee machines and the second is all home deep fryers. I have never seen so many choices for deep fryers in my life. If I find that I will need one, I know to go to the KijkShop – where the slogan is “Nu of nooit” – “Now or never”.

I also went to the HEMA and secured a pair of mittens in a more reserved color, turquoise. They were 2 euros. They are a little more upscale than my bright green ones and more durable so I will save them for when I need to go to work meetings and whatnot. But the rest of the time, bring on the dayglo. And I got some little dishes so the dogs and cats can have their own, instead of eating off the people set. I did manage to resist the various “good deals” in the middle of the store. It is easier than I thought, probably because I don’t have anything really in the house yet, and I kind of like it that way. And because if I am worried I missed something, I can always walk right back down to the HEMA.

Before heading back, I stopped to have a coffee and read the paper from cover to cover. I was having a Mom moment. Even more so when the weekend section in De Telegraaf had an interview with Andre Rieu. My mom loved Andre Rieu. We saw him together at Key Arena and then when he was at Key Arena again in March, I took the memento urn of her ashes that I have with me to see him again. I think I cried the whole concert through or very nearly. In case you didn’t know, Andre Rieu is Dutch, from Maastricht. And there’s these two PBS specials with him, one is a concert from Italy and it is gorgeous and the other is from the town square in Maastricht. Equally gorgeous. Mom used to watch those, they always came on during pledge season. She would talk about how she would love to see one of his concerts in either (or both) of those places. I am definitely going to do that. The other musicians she had a thing for were Roy Orbison and Canut Reyes (the long haired Gipsy King until recently). Well, Canut Reyes left the Gipsy Kings this year. Much like my mom left this year. And there were no Blue Angels in Seattle this year, which she also loved and would always say that “once the Blue Angels have been here, you better get your fleece on, winter is here”.

And I cleaned house and did the laundry. I have a hard time being still. Apparently that hasn’t really changed much yet. Tomorrow back to work. I am trying very hard to not work on the weekends. One step towards chilling out at a time.

Saturday Adventures

November

Well, it seems I am the only one awake at the moment. We just came in from our night walk twenty minutes ago and there’s a choir of snoring going on. Henry is buried under the comforter, George is lying under my computer and Moortje is curled up next to me. Lientje is maintaining her safe space distance from the troublemakers in the other room. She seems a little off today, just staring at her water dish and making weird little meows. I am not sure if she is just having her own sort of episode and trying to adjust or if there is something wrong. Of the four, she is the one who is the most sensitive to changes. Any change sends her hiding. Of course, she grew up with Mikha, the original Dragon Cat, so she is probably more traumatized than most. If she’s still weird (more than usual) by Monday, we’ll be going to visit the vet that we are registered at. Here in the Netherlands, you are supposed to register for medical and dental care (people and pet) with the practitioners in your neighborhood. So, conveniently, their pet clinic is next door to the Italian restaurant from the other night’s festivities.

Early this morning, I took the boys back to Beatrix Park. If I can get them used to the idea that going to the park means going off leash, they might do better with other dogs they see when they are on the leash. They did very well once we got into the park and they were off leash. George made a few moves toward different bodies of water and I could see his little brain working “She’s not looking, I bet I can get in there” but he came back when he was called. And then he decided to chase the flocks of pigeons and crows that gather on the ground looking for food. He will never actually catch any but it is fun to watch him try. I think we can go there again safely now that I know George won’t automatically throw himself in the water, he will think about whether or not he will get caught first!

I went to the market at the Noordekerk with Marianne. She introduced me to Winkel, which apparently has the best apple cake in Amsterdam. Judging by the number of people inside and outside, I’d say their reputation was justified especially since most of the crowd was Dutch. Of course, after eating a big wedge of it, I am inclined to say it was pretty damn good. The market was great, all kinds of small farms and craftspeople. I went a little crazy. I bought a kilo of Brussels sprouts. That would be 2.2 pounds of them. That’s a lot of sprouts. You can imagine that for the next couple of days, I’ll be roasting and experimenting with them. I will remember to be more mindful of lighter weight things when I buy them. I also got potatoes, red cabbage, tomatoes, cucumber, greens, sweet potatoes, cat nip, funky sea berry jam and cheese. I know, I just tried to stay strong and watch Marianne buy cheese and get a vicarious thrill but I couldn’t do it. I got some too. It’s the amazing vegetarian rennet organic milk cheese from Bastiansen – the green pesto and cumin kind. And it is green.

Speaking of green, my first purchase was a pair of gloves. And they are a green that is so bright that Marianne reminded me not to wave my hands around too much or the airplanes flying into Schiphol might be distracted and try to land. They are the color green of a dayglo nightstick. Which I find funny and of course, they won’t disappear into the bottom of a dark bag. They were, however, only 1.50 euros so they won’t last the winter.

On my way back from the market, I stopped at the American Book Center in the Spui to pick up a copy (and get it signed) of the book “Stuff Dutch People Like”. If you get a chance, it’s a hilarious blog to read. And if you don’t, I have copy now for all my houseguests. That part of the Spui is lined with bookstores, all kinds. It makes sense because the University of Amsterdam is right there. It is in the Grachtengordel (literally the Canal Girdle) and the architecture is stunning. Lots of people only want to live inside the Grachtengordel which I could understand from a historical and beauty perspective but for me, our neighborhood is great. And I have canals too, even if they are named after farmers instead of Princes and Kaisers 🙂 I added some pictures of what I saw today to the folder.

Reading the paper is getting easier. I read it cover to cover except for the sports section. Now if I could just learn to write in Dutch more quickly!

My brother, Cedric, called last night via Skype and he said that I sounded more relaxed than I had for a long time. And that made me think about how I am feeling about being here. I so miss my mom and being here doesn’t bring her back but as much as I can be at the moment, I am happy here. This was a good move for me. And I am reminded of her in so many ways every day, which I am so grateful for. I am looking forward to Thursday, when our furniture arrives and I can hug the purple chair and think about the fact that I am sitting in something that she made for me, here in this city that she loved and in an house that I would hope she would have said “I could live there”.