I am giving myself the time it takes for me to enjoy my cup of coffee to write and then after the coffee is up, it is off to work. It might be Good Friday and the office is closed but I have a list of stuff that I want myself to do. Sadly, delegating isn’t as much fun when you are both delegating and the one being delegated to 😉

I have amazing hair today. Seriously not due to my efforts at all, other than I have the good sense to have Nikah as my unruly curl manager. I went to her salon this morning around 9AM and left with a different outlook 🙂 It is always nice to see her and catch up. They were booked solid this morning so I was lucky that she made the time for me. Of course, it might also help that I usually bring her back Reese’s when I come from the US 🙂

Despite the rain, I felt like my curls needed showing so I walked around de Pijp a bit, stopping in the HEMA and other stores that I rarely go into. I think I was in a little bit of a mood just to be wandering without a clear destination. I need to do that more often.

By the time I wandered on home, it was 1145 and that seemed like the perfect time for a nap. Who am I to resist the lure of a nap in grey, rainy weather? It was so good, I will probably take another one later. I always feel like I am winning some kind of secret prize when I take a nap. Like no one else knows it is the source of my super powers.

I have a massage booked for this evening, which I am looking forward to. Before that, however, I will be tackling the project list. I don’t have to do everything today. I get points for whatever gets accomplished 🙂 That is a very different mindset for me. I used to be all or nothing oriented. Then I would either procrastinate and not do it – and feel like a failure or by the time I would do it, I would have mentally scolded myself so much already that I would still feel like some sort of failure in that it took so much to get me motivated to do it. Now, as the Portuguese say, I just break down the elephant into bite sized pieces.

It is supposed to be near 60 degrees tomorrow. I hope that is really true and with some sun. That will certainly have a good influence on me! My garden is completely empty except for the one big tree from the city so I have some work to do there in terms of planning it out. First, inside because that’s where I live most!

Okay, the coffee is finished and I am ready for my first bite of elephant 🙂

One of my guilty pleasures is the HBO series “Black Sails”. Despite all rational arguments, I really love the series. And I especially love the character of Charles Vane. I missed Sunday’s episode because I was in Lisbon so I sat down tonight with my funky salad and watched it. I wish I hadn’t *scowl* Spoiler alert he won’t be back in Season 4. GRRRR.

GRRR. Again. I will probably need to say that several more times.

It is good to be home. I got home around 9pm last night to the delight of the pets. The flight was delayed so it was a little later than planned.

I am glad today was the last day of work for a few days. I know that I will still do some work over the weekend to catch up from this past week but I have plans for fun as well 🙂

The last time I wrote I wasn’t aware yet of what had happened in Brussels. Everyone I know there is safe. It still seems unbelievable and I will admit that taking the train right now is a little uncomfortable. I noticed from my fellow passengers today that there was a distinct vibe of discomfort in the air. I too was glad to leave the train and get out.

While I was in Lisbon, my laptop bag fell and the glass is now broken. GRRR. Not as bad as Charles Vane because they can replace my screen. But still GRRR. It is not the first time it has fallen and I guess I thought it was pretty indesctructible 😉 It is ironic, I didn’t realize how much I relied on touch under it didn’t work anymore!

I got up at 545 this morning to get cracking on some work stuff before my training begins. Breakfast (read coffee) wasn’t available until 7am so I should probably go back and check my work stuff later to make sure I was really doing it right. Of course now, I am having the post espresso sleepies. I learned last year that for the first 20 minutes after you drink a cup of coffee, your body is ready to sleep or be still so it is a good time to meditate. After the 20 minute window, presumably the caffeine kicks in and you are ready to take on the world!

Lisbon is an hour behind Amsterdam which means that I have an hour to go before leaving for the office. None of the sites and tools that I need to use to do my work this morning are cooperating, so hence time to write 🙂

It is wonderful weather here. Much to the shock of the Lisboans, I wore my summer sandals yesterday and I will again today. They are all bundled up against the “cold” and I can’t be bothered to wear anything other than short sleeves. I think the Portguese people are incredible. They are very kind and very warm. They are huggable. Not that I am randomly walking around and doing that – except with my two colleagues that I am training here with. Our poor hostess, she has me and my Danish colleague until tomorrow evening. If I thought the Dutch were direct, the Danes are even more so 😉 Must be all that Northern European weather and influence.

I am having a great time, learning alot and gaining confidence in the areas that I am not so good at. It is also a relief to learn that it is possible to learn it, I don’t need some special sort of talent. Sometimes, when you are always doing things wrong, you start to wonder if you can do anything right 😉 Well, in my case anyway. I will go back to the Netherlands with a little more conviction and confidence in what I am doing.

Being sensible ( I know…) I was all set to go to bed last night at 2145 knowing that my brains had reached their grilled cheese point. Then there’s a certain designated alert tone that my phone makes and I was pleasantly distracted for the next 90 minutes. I am always surprised by how quickly time goes. It reminds me of being a kid and being told to turn out the lights and saying to my mom “just five more minutes, I am almost at the end of the chapter” and Mom was not waivering. So, I learned to use a flashlight instead. Until she figured that out.

If I time this right, I can catch a powernap before walking down to the office 😉

Well, certainly not the striking air traffic controllers. I lost my whole day of sightseeing today thanks to them. But Lisbon is in Portugal… Except you have to fly over the whole of France to get here. And when their ATC’ers are striking that means that you have a traffic jam in the sky that takes incredibly long. We had a three plus hour delay leaving Amsterdam. I got to know my seat very well and listened to a lot of music.

I am disappointed because I specifically planned this trip to have to today to see things I didn’t see last time and to sit in the sun 🙂 While I won’t hold this against France forever, I imagine that I won’t be so susceptible to those marketing emails that come with 29 euro fares to Paris and Lille from Thalys. 😉

My seatmates were Americans. I did my best to not have any contact because the Mrs (in the middle) was a champion complainer and her husband kept his nose buried in his book the whole entire time. I imagine this is probably what their home life looks like too 😉

And of course, this morning, while I was doing the last of the laundry, the drain that the washer hose goes into flooded the floor. OY. So, that’s on my list of things to fix when I get home. I think it is a design flaw. And since I don’t know how successful I will be enlarging the drain, I’ll probably have to make some trips to the hardware store and ask for some help. Or I could just stop washing clothes and always buy new ones…

I like Lisbon very much. I caught the metro to downtown, where our office is. I love how the names of all of the Metro stations sound like expressions. I feel like there should be exclaimation points behind their names as if they were ready to pop! It all sounds very dramatic in Portguese. Some things I can easily figure out, involving names of saints and what not, but then there are other words that are not so easy. The Metro is clean and cheap so I got my reloadable card and will use it to get back to the airport on Wednesday.

While we were waiting to leave, I got a long email from my dad. Apparently, it was inspired by the Kanban training he had to sit through this week. Heh, there’s your tax dollars at work. I’ll write him back but I need to do some thinking about what I want to say first. Like with conversations, he can handle exactly 8 minutes. After that, no more. So, I switched to paper letters instead – doing my part to keep various postal agencies in business. And we’re not close, which also makes it a challenge to figure out how much does he actually really want to know about me? I am never really certain.

For sure though, dinner is required before tackling that response 😉

By now, you know how the drill goes in this house. I try to pack around the pets’ awareness. I am sitting here listening to the washing machine while admiring my Poppy colored toes. You see, Lisbon was in the 60s today and the weather says Sunny for the next few days. This means, of course, that it is time for warm weather clothes! Okay, so yes, I will still need to wear a coat when going to Schiphol but once I am inside, into the suitcase it goes and not to be used again until Wednesday evening!

I had a wine too many last night and ended up getting home around 3AM. Which was actually quite sensible since I heard that everyone else got home between 8 and 11AM. 😉  This morning I had a brunch date with a friend, which I nearly missed since I hadn’t set the alarm, the phone hadn’t been on the charger and I didn’t hear any of the SMS alerts. Good thing George can only sleep so long. Usually when he wakes me up, I tell him “a few more minutes, George” and then pat him on the head like a snooze button. He’s figured out that I will do this three times and then get up.

Brunch was good. I ended up drinking a coffee, two iced teas and two Spa Roods. You could say I was a little dehydrated. By the time I walked home from de Pijp, I was back to normal. Well, as close as it gets anyway 😉

I came home to squeeze in a nap before the park. I am a big fan of naps and luckily I have a sofa that supports that habit. After 45 minutes of peace, we went to the park. There is a boatshow at the RAI this weekend. In the back of the exhibition halls, they have all kinds of water sports adventure. George was fascinated by the guy who was waterskiing on a snow board. He didn’t want to leave and he kept turning around and stopping to stare at the participant. I could almost hear him thinking “If I only got more allowance, I could do cool things like that too”.

Since it was grey and overcast, the park was pretty empty. Suits us just fine that way. We were out for a long time today, I hit my 10K steps before we were anywhere near leaving. The only thing that made us go home was the fact that the pet store that sells the cats food closes at 5 on Saturdays and I needed to stock up for while I am gone. And then it was off the to people grocery store to get the romaine, sweet potatoes and meat that the dogs eat. I feel like I spend more time grocery shopping for my pets than I do for me…

Our housesitter knows the routine very well by now but I still go through the day before thought process of Have I Forgotten Anything? Not like the housesitter isn’t perfectly capable of figuring out if something needs replacing and where to get it… I think I need to learn to let go a little more 😉

I would be in bed already but I am supervising the washing machine. I don’t like to run the washing machine and the dishwasher at the same time, so until the washing machine is done, I won’t start the dishwasher. I know, this is ridiculous – I have a perfectly modern electrical panel that supports it. I am just not sure about the water and if it can split properly so I do it this way.

Turned down some invitations to go out tonight knowing that I would do better with the peace and quiet at home to settle down those leaving anxieties. I know everything is fine here when I am gone. I think the biggest one right now is will Moortje still be alive when I get back? This is a silly question really because the vet has told me more than once that while he is old and there are concerns – hence his medications – he’s not that close to death’s door. Not far away from it, considering his age but certainly not knocking on it. And considering he just bit my hand, he’s certainly very much alive!

To hell with it, I am going to bed. The appliances can work out their own conflicts – Good night!

A fire started last night with the work layer above me. This meant that last night was a flurry of messaging with my manager and the promise that I would find some answers out today. And while this means I saved one of my 33 vacation days, it also means that I spent the day trying to fight a fire that actually is really non-existent.

There are a lot of politics at play right now and what stresses my manager influences me. I definitely don’t want to give her any extra agita. I always want to shield people from catching undeserved shit. At least I was able to fight the fires from a bench in the park this afternoon, in the sunlight!

Tonight I was still unsettled enough that I went walking for an hour to get some of that energy out. And I needed to ensure my 10K steps!

I stopped by my second living room and did my time as wise listener. If people only knew that I am not any better at knowing the answers than they are 😉

But I am willing to figure them out and sometimes it is just enough to have someone listen. Thereafter I can gently make suggestions. The person tonight told me they were really grateful that I listened and helped them look at some things. That made me slightly uncomfortable because there are no thanks needed, it is a privilege just to be trusted.

Tomorrow it is back to the office. Heh, that always takes such effort. At least it will be Friday!

My favorite teammate, who coincidentally also shares my name, and I have a calendar item booked in our public facing calendars for tomorrow that is titled “Cross Workgroup Collaboration” with the meeting location as Snowplane Landgraaf . We are going for a one day Wintersport. I have to laugh as I read the description of the slopes, that it is the longest slope in the Netherlands.

So, while the real Dutch go to the Alps and other picturesque and rugged mountain locations for their week long Wintersport, I’m heading to an indoor ski slope 😉 This fits since I can get my thrills in a day and without feeling like I am being irresponsible by disappearing for a week. You know, the productive American mindset!

My new manager also shares our name. We thought about inviting her to come along but we figured if there was a terrible accident of some kind, our whole group would be without a single C. This way there’s always one around!

I had a meeting with HR yesterday morning at the request of my manager. Not to worry, it was not that kind of “meeting with HR”. Not that I didn’t seriously worry about that when I first got the email – on a Sunday no less. It actually was a really good meeting. We talked a great deal about what I like to do, what I want to do and how I might like to get there. Oh, and we talked about cultural differences, trust and optimism. My job definitely hasn’t gotten any easier since January. However, the environment has gotten so much better and I have an enormous competence crush on my new manager. I like her very much, she is motivating, inspiring and different. And yesterday, I gave her some of my magic lavender oil to inhale – which worked very well. Now I just have to teach her the Wonder Woman pose 😉

My pending trip to Seattle is taking up quite a bit of my spare thinking cycles right now. It seems the housing market there is tough and people are emailing me because they are aware that my tenants are leaving the dollhouse. If it keeps up, I won’t have to put it up to list. I want to make sure that the people who do live there are right for the house. There’s so many of my memories in that house – not to mention the pets buried in the yard. And the endless brushstrokes of paint that my mom would not let go of. I remember the long afternoons looking at paint and Mom pushing me to choose between Swiss Mocha and 15 other shades of white. It ended up being Swiss Mocha which was the one Mom liked best anyway. It really made no sense because mocha is normally a name associated with brown…

I remember when I first moved in, in 1999, Mom and I were painting the loft this fabulous lavender twilight color – it was called Lupine. And we started arguing over something so ridiculous, probably having to do with my refusal to tape something off properly. All the windows were open for ventilation and I am pretty sure the whole street heard us. Welcome to the neighborhood, right? 😉

The point is that my mom was really hands-on. And if she didn’t know how to do something, she would haunt the hardware stores until she got the information she was looking for. Since she didn’t have a regular job, she had a lot of time to research and grill the various employees. I am much more cautious in this respect. I look up the information first and I think about how I could do it. Then I try to do it. And then when it doesn’t work, I call in a professional 😉

As the spring is coming, I have been thinking about what I want to do with our outdoor space. Yardening always makes me think of her. I wish she was here so we could have a good argument about what to plant and where. Now I have no one to disagree with me which is dangerous!

I will always remember your birthday because it falls on the Ides of March, which my trivia fact storing brain knows was the assassination date of Julius Caesar 😉 So, you can rest assured that I won’t forget it until I start forgetting many other things as well!

Happy Birthday, my tough love friend! Thank you for being one of my external voices that pushes me when necessary and loves me even when I am cranky, unrealistic or not making a choice about where an item should go. I am so glad you have become a part of my new life here as well and not remained only as a memory 🙂

For this coming year, I wish you some extra adventures of your own 😉 I hope that as you travel, you never stop being curious and eager to connect with the people around you. I hope that your kids continue to thrive and that your family has all of the Seahawks madness that you seem to love so much. And I wish that for all of the love that you give out to people, you get it back three times so that you are cluttered with affection 😉 Thank you for being one of the women I share my life with.

Since this is a happy day, I might as well continue the trend with the fact that I have my banjo back. She was in the banjo spa over the weekend getting some railroad spikes as implants and her action lowered. Not exactly sure why it is called that but if makes chord changes easier, I am all for it. I had a double Dutch lesson this morning, 2 hours since I will be in Lisbon next week. My brain is grilled cheese. After that, I needed to ride on the tram, thinking about nothing, on my way to collect my baby.

That means I will be working a little longer tonight since I took a good part of the morning off. It is okay because it is rainy and cold and I won’t really notice the time. I also need to get stuff finished before next week since I will be gone.

I had a good weekend, I met a lot of new women. Saturday night was a cocktail hour which was fun and Sunday was a film at the LGTBQ Film Festival. That’s the nice thing about not having any history here, I am free to meet whomever I want and I am no one’s ex. Of course I have my favorites 🙂 It was also very sunny out so the boys and I spent double our usual time in the park, working on our respective tans!

Okay, I am going to get to some serious work now. Once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEX!!! XOXOXOXO

I have a cold. Today is the first day in about two weeks that I can work from home for the whole day. I have to go into the office tonight since I am giving a training. Until 5Pm, I am working from my office, with my own daylight, my mom’s high school desk and my fur bearing colleagues. Oh, and let’s not forget the music and my nearby Nespresso machine! It doesn’t get much better than that.

There were people from the US and Western Europe here last week. Which meant we had days full of meetings, nights full with dinners and somewhere in the moments in between, the attempt to still do your regular job. I wasn’t getting alot of sleep either so Friday morning, I woke up with the crud that is going around. I spent the weekend only walking the dogs, reading on the couch and sleeping. While it didn’t stop the crud, I am hoping it will make it shorter in duration since I would really like to start liking the taste of coffee again. Right now, it is not a pleasure and I am drinking tea instead – not the same thing at all!

So far so good on driving into the heart of Rotterdam without getting a ticket. I keep waiting for one to drop through the mailslot but none yet! I am going to another concert next month, starring one of the musicians I saw at Cross Linx. However, this time I am taking the train. 🙂

A week from Sunday, I leave for Lisbon. I have some training to go to. I really like that city so I am looking forward to seeing it again. And then early next month, I am heading to Seattle. I have some stuff to take care of so it will be a short trip – 5 days, including flying time. The boys will be glad to see me come back with a suitcase of tortillas – but that’s not the reason I am going.

Hmm, I seem to have lots of technical difficulties this morning. Nothing seems to want to start up properly – including me 😉 If this keeps up, I will have to take a day off. Obviously, this machine is still working since I am posting so I guess that means I better make use of it!

and that’s how I know it has been a while between posts. It is Sunday afternoon and the sun is shining. I had my 10K steps for the day by 1330 and the dogs and I have just had a nap. I need to finish some presentations for tomorrow but I am having a difficult time settling down and PowerPointing — is that actually a verb??? What does that mean then? This afternoon, I am unsettled. Actually, I have been unsettled all day.

I see my banjo out of the corner of my eye and that reminds me that I have a lesson tomorrow morning and still need to practice. Friday night, I went to see one of my banjo teacher’s bands play. This time it was the Stringlers. He’s also in one called the Sons of Navaronne. It was a great show, in a cramped Irish pub just off Rembrandtplein. The woman next to me was English and her son lives in Seattle. And she thought Paul was my husband. She kept thinking that. While I know my language skills are not the greatest, I am pretty confident I am understandable when I say “No, he’s my banjo and my Dutch teacher, not my husband”.

Last night, I went to Rotterdam for dinner and the Cross Linx festival. It is an incredible experimental music festival of sorts. I heard so much beautiful music last night, made in unexpected ways. I came away with the fact that there is something about violin music, alone without any other instruments, that makes me swoon! Don’t worry, I am not thinking of taking up the violin! I realized that I had simply never heard it alone, always as part of an orchestra.

Technically, Astrid is not allowed in the center of Rotterdam due to her age. I didn’t realize that until I had already gotten there. So now the question is will I get a fine in the mail? It is not impossible that at the city limits her plates were scanned. In the Netherlands, there are lots of roadside scanners – flitspalen I think they called. Anyway, you get flitsed – meaning that your plates are snapped if you are speeding and then the ticket arrives through your mailslot which you just pay and don’t protest. There’s very little actual law enforcement on the roads. Automate everything you can in terms of routine things. So, it would not surprise me if Rotterdam had a system in place that scans every auto that comes inside the Centrum zone for age. The good news is, I can still go to the outlying areas of Rotterdam, just not the Centrum. 😉 Or if I go to Rotterdam next time, I should definitely take the train…

Yesterday I also had interview to join a social club. I passed the group interview and will be joining them on a trial basis – which really reminds me of the Groucho Marx quote “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member”. It is kind of more than a social club but that’s the easiest way to describe it.

So, why am I unsettled? I feel a little overwhelmed right now. I have a lot of pressure at work, which is going to increase this week. And while I am basically an optimist and I have to believe that I will get where I need to go for work, sometimes it is hard. Especially when lots of people consider it a lost cause. I am struggling a little not to take the professional as personal. Socially, I am struggling a little too. I am having a tough time relating to and reading people. Then I think maybe I should stop until I get better at it. But I won’t get better at it if I don’t keep doing it. It is a terrible cycle 😉

And I am getting alot of contact from R. right now. I am so grateful for it since almost 16 year olds are not well known for their communication skills 😉 He sends emails like they are texts. Which means I have to wait for about six of them before I get the full picture! It is heavy emotionally. I can’t tell him that, I just need to be there for him. That’s my role.

And I got the new Macklemore & Ryan Lewis album Friday morning and it reminds me so much of Seattle. So maybe I am also a little homesick…

There you have it, well, enough of it. 🙂 I better get started on finishing these presentations since they are both things I have to deliver tomorrow. Thanks for reading!