Yes, here we are again. 2AM and wide awake. Except this time, the only coffee available is decaf – which I would rather skip than drink. I went to sleep around 10PM and then only fitfully. When I woke up for the third time at 2, I decided to go with it. They say that sleep is important for allowing your brain to process information from the day. Apparently my brain says that it can do that while awake…

After I wrote yesterday morning, I went to PCC for my favorite vegan breakfast – vegan biscuits and gravy piled over a tofu scramble. Okay, it might sound disgusting and even seeing it on a plate is not that attractive but it so GOOD. It is something I try to get every time I come here. It is not always available but yesterday morning I was in luck.

Having lunch with the Rose Princess turned out to be sitting in the sun on park bench, eating apples and cucumbers, while having a really deep conversation. I was tempted to have a bottle of rose wine handy but the US has these silly open container laws. After our time was over, I spent return drive to Seattle thinking about the importance of connections and how we are bound to each other in ways that are often unexpected and unseen at first glance.

My phone has been ringing steadily tonight. It is all work related so I am not answering because technically, it is the middle of the night here 😉

Okay, I think I am going to try falling asleep again since there’s only decaf in this hotel room and I won’t be able to find regular coffee til 6AM 😉

I powered through yesterday, without a nap and then gave in around 9PM local time. Only to find myself awake at 230AM local time. So, I have been sitting here for the past two hours working, drinking hotel room coffee and patiently waiting to either fall back towards the sleepies or for daylight so I can run out and get breakfast. Somewhere nearby either someone can’t sleep or fell asleep with the TV on. I can’t actually make out the words, I can just hear the sounds.

Technically, I am on vacation days while I am here. However, since I know that if I really ignore everything like a vacationer should, I will come back to regret that and then I will also have too much time here to think and reflect… And we wouldn’t want that 😉

I saw the house last night and walked through with the old tenants. It was very, very emotional. Not because I am attached to them but they were the first people to live there after Mom was gone and I remember doing all of the open houses with Rupert. Rupert and Meredith had lived there when Mom was sick so they could have a little place of their own. Walking back into and seeing all of the places my mom had put so much of her time into was really tough.

The trees that she planted are so big now. The first thing I thought was “Mom, we have really got to get busy with bringing them back into check”. The old lilac tree was in bloom which was heavenly to smell. That’s the one I associate most with my garden there, the lilac blooming. When it blooms, you can smell it from everywhere. The magnolia tree had already bloomed and lost it’s blossoms. The last tree she planted, the Japanese maple by Mikha’s grave is thriving with leaves a bright, bright green. I can’t bring plants back to Amsterdam, otherwise I would be taking cuttings from my garden.

The house is in pretty good shape, all things considered. That was a good thing to see. I would have been really devastated if it had been damaged. The street hasn’t changed other than all of the other little houses have been sold multiple times. Tonight I will go back there to meet some prospective tenants. I also have to get the fence replaced while I am here because the last major windstorm blew a good portion of it down.

When I arrived yesterday, I was through Customs and Border Patrol in record time and out into the rental car. I had forgotten to rent a car before I left and suddenly realized it when we were boarding. Oops! I ended up with a blue VW Jetta that I couldn’t find the ignition for. I was really puzzled and just getting ready to walk back to the counter when I saw a button that said Engine Start and Stop. Being brave, I pushed it and what do you know? Apparently, keys are now an accessory 😉

First place I stopped was Dub Sea to get a coffee and see if I could track down Sybelle. I got the coffee and I got the information of when to find her next 🙂 From there, it was off to track down Jan. I am so glad I did because I needed to refill my emotional charger before going to the house. So, for a good two hours, we sat outside in the sun at C&P Coffee, where my mom’s Dutch porcelain cups are on the wall display and caught up. I let all that good karma and warm-heartedness wash all over me. 🙂 I needed that. Once I was charged up, I was ready to head to the house.

On the way back, I did the all American thing and went through the Taco Time drive-thru. And I ate my bean burrito behind the wheel. I was laughing at myself while I was doing it because it so American 🙂 Taco Time was the exception to healthy eating that Mom and I would do. It was our go to if it was time for a junk food excursion. While it is not great food, compared to other options for junk food, it isn’t too bad. Not like getting a bucket of fried chicken. Which my Mom would always threaten me with. She would ask “What do you want to eat?” And I would say “Fried chicken” which would make her nuts and she would come back with a super sassy “I will get you a bucket and you are going to eat the whole thing”. To up the ante, we expanded the bucket to include disgusting side dishes from pots of gravy to the terrible cakes that they offered as dessert for a while at KFC.

I’ve never actually eaten anything from KFC but I think I had a pretty accurate idea of their menu for a while! That reminds me of how much of a clown my mom was and how I miss that.

Later today, I’m having lunch with the Rose Princess. Or maybe it will feel like dinner to me, with the time difference 🙂 I am looking forward to it, even though I know that they will not be okay with us taking up a table for 8 hours like I can so easily do in Amsterdam!

It is supposed to be 80 degrees today. Wow.

Howdy from way up in the air… and hello from 19CDE. Guess who has a row all to herself? Plus there’s also wifi – which is something that most carriers in Europe don’t have onboard yet. Normally, I like the airplane to be my unplugged time but today it’s not so bad.

Of course, the airplane food is coming down the aisle and they couldn’t get my vegan meal so this might be a little counterbalance to the delight of having a row to myself! It is okay, I don’t fly for the food 😉

I was up early this morning at 6AM to get everything done before my banjo lesson at 9AM. I packed in 25 minutes – which was pretty good, even for me. I don’t need much because the weather in Seattle is beautiful and since you all know me anyway, you would be shocked if I turned up in anything remotely fashion forward 😉 I did need to make up the guest room and get pet food. All while trying to convince the pets that nothing was up.

Fast forward to banjo, which was fabulous! I knocked Paul for a loop when I randomly starting playing a song out of my head. It went really well and he told me that he noticed that I wasn’t thinking but feeling and that’s the best way to play music and it shows. I get so much out of my lessons with him. I do out of my Dutch lessons with him too but banjo is special, it lets me explore the non-logical side of myself.

Yesterday afternoon, I had a meeting for work which went really well. I like it when I get to be in the room and watch people figure out how they can solve their problems if they make one little change. A little extra spice was that Sunday’s Terrace Company also works there. So, in the middle of the meeting I discreetly sent a message figuring I am here, maybe I will get an answer…

Well, I did and that turned into dinner behind the train station. In a restaurant, not just somewhere back by the extra cars or something 😉 I know what you are thinking… you are wondering just what the hell I am doing that is working… Well, I will share my awesome pickup line with you – you can use it too. Ready? It was “I am done at 1700. Any interest in coffee?” I know, such a simple sentence and yet so powerful 😉

The point being that I am riding pretty high lately on the happiness horse 🙂 I am supremely grateful for that too. I’ll be using a lot of that energy to make it through the next couple of days when seeing the house again and doing all the Seattle administrative things. Something I am dreading is going through the mail. I don’t know which is worse, the mail addressed to her or the mail addressed to the Estate of…

P.S. still flying… I am thinking about the customs process that I will be going through after we land, which then makes me think about arrivals overall. Schiphol is really a city, I think you could live there – I know my mom and I did. I always like the sensation when you come out of the mysterious doors from the custom area and everyone is looking, wondering if it finally going to be the person they are waiting on. People with their flowers, their dogs, their signs and posters. It’s cute and it seems like the Dutch put such a big emphasis on arrivals. But that makes sense really because every flight into Schiphol is an international flight of one sort or another. I like it and I do it too, when people are coming to visit me. I am not expecting that same kind of experience when I land in Seattle.

That is how I feel right now… which is good preparation since I still have to spend some more time Power Pointing tonight and I have to do my Dutch homework for tomorrow morning.

It was interesting this weekend. Friday afternoon, UPS picked up my busted Surface and then Saturday morning, my laptop wouldn’t boot past the security console and I couldn’t get a recovery code from my mobile. So, what did I do? Said “It is the weekend. Bring the laptop into the office on Monday and try it there”. And that’s all it took! I know that if I had been still in my old ways, I would not have stopped until I had either solved the problem or everything was broken beyond repair. This time, I figured that means I have nothing to worry about this weekend regarding being connected 🙂

All that is left of the elephant is a few pieces. Pretty amazing, actually. Which is freeing because that means when I come back from Seattle, I can start building out my garden. The weather has improved so much that I want to sit outside and work. Of course, at the moment, there are only the pet loungers on the terrace and those are usually occupied when the sun is out 😉

Saturday night I went to see the Broadway musical “Pippin” at the Carre theatre with a group from the meetup. Not 100% my thing but I wanted to try something new. I did learn a great deal about the theatre from the other people attending who were all big musical fans. I think that I am okay not following musical theatre like I do music 😉

And then yesterday, was one of my best days ever. I sat on a terrace in Amsterdam Noord for 8 hours… I know…  And in case you are wondering, I wasn’t by myself 🙂 And that’s what made it one of the best days ever, the company. I am still not entirely convinced that yesterday wasn’t one big figment of my imagination 😉 Even if it was, it was still one of the best days in my life.

Okay, I am going to try and pull myself together and be serious about the work I need to do and all the other stuff that has to happen before I leave on Wednesday. 🙂

Okay, only Friday morning but still! I am waiting for my toast to cool and I thought I would sneak in a few words before my first Skype call of the day. Not going into the office today. We spent the day together yesterday in an offsite related to fixed vs growth mindsets so I need to some time to recharge my introvert battery and catch up on the regular work stuff that still went on yesterday.

It was a good day, sunny and in something of a nature preserve. I learned a great deal, especially when my manager told me about 15 minutes before it was going to happen that I would end up leading one of the afternoon sessions. Mindset in action 😉

Funny how all that kind of energy usage can wear you out. Last night, around 915PM, I climbed into my fort, turned on the music and fell asleep surprisingly quickly. It had been a big 24 hours in terms of other news as well so I think I was just worn out.

As for the weekend, it is back to the elephant again. I have now another factor that is influencing the timeline. Plus I will be in Seattle next weekend so I have a shortened window to get things done. It is good pressure but pressure all the same 😉 This is one of those moments that I am wishing Bex was here to give me a good swift kick of motivation and clear sightedness!

However, I can do it (I think).

Thinking about Mom today for no reason other than being reminded of her affinity for starting new things, not worrying about whether or not she should be a certain way and for always pushing us to do better. I am working on it, Mom 🙂 and I wish you were here to see it and give me a hard time about it…

Last night, I went to see Anneke van Giersbergen and I think it was one of the best concerts of my life. First of all, we had row 2 seats so I could count her eyelashes. She was playing with an Icelandic band called Arstidir and it was an incredible show. You can get a taste of it the music here .

My companion was a huge fan and began crying during some of the songs. Luckily, I had tissues with me and could helpfully offer them to her during those delicate moments. I wasn’t moved to tears but I could easily understand how you would be, especially if you have been a long time fan.

She (Anneke) told stories throughout and she was funny and self deprecating. The music was breathtaking and her connection with the audience was amazing. The theatre only holds 450 people so you really felt connected.

Of course, afterwards, we were much too wound up to just simply bicycle away in the night to our respective corners of the city so we ended up closing down two bars. Pretty impressive for a Tuesday evening. 😉 We had a lot to talk about – everything from ANNEKE to culture and immigration to families to music. It was a really good evening and I was glad to get the chance to get to know her better.

Home at 3AM and at work at 9AM. That is one thing I can say for myself – if I stay out late, I still make it to work on time 😉

It is sunny today so everything is looking good 🙂 Henry is recuperating nicely – they didn’t have to steal his teeth so that was a plus. Okay, back to work because I just had to get my ANNEKE out 🙂

Big sigh… today, I am not winning when it comes to internet gateways, downloads, managing queries or any number of things related to working with Excel. When I was in Portugal, my colleague gave me this amazing dashboard and I would really like to modify it for here. And so far, I have tripped over every single thing that could go wrong. I’m reaching the point where I am not sure if it is my faulty memory or Excel 😉 I am going to make one more serious effort and then I am going to go back to Portugal for a remedial course!

I am waiting for the vet to call. Henry had to go in this morning for a dental extraction. There was a little anxiety here at the ranch  because I was up at 630 and working from bed since I couldn’t get up. The boys would have expected breakfast and Henry was not allowed to eat. George was left behind when I took Henry to the vet and as I was closing the door, I heard this pathetic little “Peep peep”. Whereas Henry thought we were going somewhere fun and exciting, just the two of us and proceeded to dance his way the two blocks. He has a funny walk. When he moves faster than slow, he hops like a rabbit.

He was not happy to be left at the vet. He put his consider 7.4kgs into resistance. The worst part was him looking over his shoulder at me as I left to go to my Dutch lesson. The guilt that one small dog can invoke… George has been a little clingy, he’s not sure why his brother is not here. He’s just gone out with Kate so he will be running in the woods for a good couple of hours. By which time, Henry should be home since he is sleeping off his anaesthesia.

We had a really good weekend around here. The weather gave us lots of time to be outside and practice our coping skills with high winds. The dogs handle that differently than I do 🙂 I went to a really cool gathering Sunday night that was focused on bluegrass, blues and all kinds of American roots music played by non-Americans. I really enjoyed it and got to see some things you should not do with the banjo… I also think there might be an accordeon player in my future since imagine how much greater everything would sound with a Squeeze Box player? The woman playing it had an awesome disco glitter red one that she bought off Marktplaats (the local equivalent of CL).

Last night, I met a friend for dinner and reached my 17K steps for the day – whoop whoop! Okay, my calves are sore today but it was worth it. I am walking more now than biking because I am listening to music. And earbuds while bicycling is more dangerous than I want to take on, especially considering my near miss with the tram the other day.

Tonight I am going to another concert with tickets that someone I know couldn’t use. Awfully nice of them! Looking forward to it because it is Anneke van Giersbergen who is like a Dutch Rock Goddess.

I am a little bit short on sleep because we went forward for summer time which always throws me off and because I’ve been having some intense late night conversations lately. Like yesterday morning at banjo, I was having a little bit of a rough time putting the chords together because I had been up til 3AM. Back in the day, the wages of sin would have been a backstage pass. Now in my sensible adulthood, it’s late night chatting 😉 Wouldn’t necessarily change it though!

The vet just called so that means off to pick up Henry 🙂 🙂

I am taking a slight break from the elephant because I am super pleased with my progress! Guess what? I found the cats’ pet passports!!! Luckily, I also have the bottles from their last vaccinations so on Tuesday, I will go by and have them officially amended with the last visits.

I found the garden furniture I want as well. But I am just flirting with it for now, until everything else is planted, the furniture isn’t really necessary. It is really cool though and unlike the terrace furniture sets that most people have in terms of shape/color/texture.

The downside of the fantastic weather today is that my curls have gone bye-bye. They were still in fine form last night so that was good 😉 but now, no more. However, it is going to rain tomorrow so they will be back. When I go out tonight, I’ll have to put it up in one of those clippy things. That much I can manage 😉

I talked with Meredith today and the dates for the Minion TakeOver of Chicago are set for early June. I am so looking forward to going and being with them. Sometimes it is hard seeing people you love once a year. I know, I made the choice but it still twinges. Hopefully, the dates work out for the twins as well so then we will have five Minions. Or maybe more if they have started dating. Hmm, I think I should know that as the Big Sister but I kind of don’t want to…

Henry ran away in the park today twice. I think maybe it was the weather that encouraged his bad behavior. Once he got into the swan and bird enclosure so I had to hang over the fence and pull him out. That was the second time. I think maybe he knows he is going to the vet on Tuesday and this is way of paying me back. He’s going to have a tooth pulled so it will be quite a long day for him there.

Tomorrow night I am going to an event that is targeted towards “Stringlovers, banjodelinquents, guitarpickers and bluesharp-alligators” so that sounds like it is going to be a lot of fun 🙂 Needless to say, they had me at banjodelinquents.

Okay, I want to tackle some more of the elephant before I go out so bye for now 🙂

I am giving myself the time it takes for me to enjoy my cup of coffee to write and then after the coffee is up, it is off to work. It might be Good Friday and the office is closed but I have a list of stuff that I want myself to do. Sadly, delegating isn’t as much fun when you are both delegating and the one being delegated to 😉

I have amazing hair today. Seriously not due to my efforts at all, other than I have the good sense to have Nikah as my unruly curl manager. I went to her salon this morning around 9AM and left with a different outlook 🙂 It is always nice to see her and catch up. They were booked solid this morning so I was lucky that she made the time for me. Of course, it might also help that I usually bring her back Reese’s when I come from the US 🙂

Despite the rain, I felt like my curls needed showing so I walked around de Pijp a bit, stopping in the HEMA and other stores that I rarely go into. I think I was in a little bit of a mood just to be wandering without a clear destination. I need to do that more often.

By the time I wandered on home, it was 1145 and that seemed like the perfect time for a nap. Who am I to resist the lure of a nap in grey, rainy weather? It was so good, I will probably take another one later. I always feel like I am winning some kind of secret prize when I take a nap. Like no one else knows it is the source of my super powers.

I have a massage booked for this evening, which I am looking forward to. Before that, however, I will be tackling the project list. I don’t have to do everything today. I get points for whatever gets accomplished 🙂 That is a very different mindset for me. I used to be all or nothing oriented. Then I would either procrastinate and not do it – and feel like a failure or by the time I would do it, I would have mentally scolded myself so much already that I would still feel like some sort of failure in that it took so much to get me motivated to do it. Now, as the Portuguese say, I just break down the elephant into bite sized pieces.

It is supposed to be near 60 degrees tomorrow. I hope that is really true and with some sun. That will certainly have a good influence on me! My garden is completely empty except for the one big tree from the city so I have some work to do there in terms of planning it out. First, inside because that’s where I live most!

Okay, the coffee is finished and I am ready for my first bite of elephant 🙂

One of my guilty pleasures is the HBO series “Black Sails”. Despite all rational arguments, I really love the series. And I especially love the character of Charles Vane. I missed Sunday’s episode because I was in Lisbon so I sat down tonight with my funky salad and watched it. I wish I hadn’t *scowl* Spoiler alert he won’t be back in Season 4. GRRRR.

GRRR. Again. I will probably need to say that several more times.

It is good to be home. I got home around 9pm last night to the delight of the pets. The flight was delayed so it was a little later than planned.

I am glad today was the last day of work for a few days. I know that I will still do some work over the weekend to catch up from this past week but I have plans for fun as well 🙂

The last time I wrote I wasn’t aware yet of what had happened in Brussels. Everyone I know there is safe. It still seems unbelievable and I will admit that taking the train right now is a little uncomfortable. I noticed from my fellow passengers today that there was a distinct vibe of discomfort in the air. I too was glad to leave the train and get out.

While I was in Lisbon, my laptop bag fell and the glass is now broken. GRRR. Not as bad as Charles Vane because they can replace my screen. But still GRRR. It is not the first time it has fallen and I guess I thought it was pretty indesctructible 😉 It is ironic, I didn’t realize how much I relied on touch under it didn’t work anymore!