Not sure that I expect you, dear reader, to be able to answer that question. All I know is that I woke up at 332 this morning and that was the end of sleepy time. I tried my usual tricks, breathing, lavender oil under the nose, deliberately not thinking, talking to Mom, hugging the pets and at 417, I just got up and fired up the coffee machine.

The boys woke up too and now they are in their bed here in the office, snoring away after the initial excitement of getting up in the dark. I didn’t feed them yet, otherwise they will be expecting this every morning! I can hear the birds beginning to sing and so far, there is one other household awake in the street judging by the lights.

I have already made it through my pressing work stuff this morning. Now I just have to wait for people to wake up and react. When I first moved here, my colleagues made a point of letting me know that I should not expect answers to my emails that were sent in the strange hours until normal Dutch working hours. I told them that I didn’t expect answers that early, I just happen to be awake sometimes and working and if I really wanted an answer, I would just call them before 9 AM 😉 They didn’t realize that I was joking about the calling before dawn!

I have a banjo lesson later this morning. Probably right about then I will be ready for a nap. It is supposed to be 63 and sunny today so I am looking forward to having as much of the day in the sunshine as I can. I think I might even find a terrace to work from this afternoon. Assuming I am still awake, of course!

Happy Tax Day to those of you in the US. One benefit of being over here, is that I get an extension automatically until June. It doesn’t mean I don’t have to pay though, just a longer time to file.

I am preparing for the first bike commute of the year on Friday. It will be a good way to end the week and the weather promises to be sunny and cool. I hope by the end of the summer, I will be able to make my commute in 30 minutes. That means I have about 20 minutes of improvement time needed. It will also mean that it takes me the same time on my bike as it would going with public transit.

My next pressing issue to solve is thinking about where I will vacation in August. Ideally, I will find a little spot on the sea somewhere that I can take the dogs and we can drive or take the train rather than fly. I would like to find somewhere peaceful but not boring. I can’t decided if I want to stay in the Netherlands or visit some of the countries next door. I supposed it will depend on what I find. You know that people take their vacation time seriously when most things for August are already booked!

Monday morning and I just saw the video from Hillary, announcing her candidacy. Can I just tell you how great it is to watch? I think of how excited my mom would be to see it as well. I was so disappointed last time with the nomination. I have to dig up my Hillary for President t-shirt.

So nice to see a message delivered without the gloom and doom and fear mongering. I am sure as it gets closer to the election, the US political scene will once again turn into a group of poorly behaving adults and their strategists.

My brother, Cedric, called me yesterday. We talked about important and not so important things. We don’t talk often enough and that’s both of our faults. The good news is that he is going to try to make it here this year. I will be glad to have that happen since he is the only one of my brothers that hasn’t been back since we had Mom’s memorial service. Maybe I will get to see him in Chicago too when I invade Rupert and Meredith’s peace and quiet!

The terrace is in order! Saturday afternoon, between rain spells, I put it to rights and cleaned it all up and brought the plants back into line. My tulips are all blooming and just gloriously beautiful. I will be sorry when they are done. If it were possible, I would like to have tulips growing the whole year.

I saw the movie “Still Alice” over the weekend. To say I enjoyed it isn’t the right word because I think of enjoyed as more of a happy word. Perhaps it is more accurate to say I thought Julianne Moore was incredible and I was left thinking about the subject and what it would be like long after the end credits played.

The boys went to the doggie salon on Friday and got their Spring arrangement. They look so very dashing – partly because we haven’t been to the park yet so they couldn’t roll all the cleanliness off. Instead we have done alot of walking on the leash and sitting in the sun on grassy spots. Henry is all about the leisurely sunning in the grass. Today they will go out with their dog group so I am sure the first thing they will do in the woods is roll in something disgusting.

Over the weekend, I have realized that I am a pretty great friend. I mean that from the perspective that friendship means accepting people as they are and recognizing that even if it makes you nuts, there are times that you have to listen to the same concerns over and over again. I can’t tell you how many times this weekend I have used the phrase “Channel your inner Donna Summer please because I am hearing a whole lot of Kylie Minogue coming out of you”. Meaning, of course, that your own inner disco diva can give you alot more confidence than a bubble gum popstar. Friends should be able to do that for each other and certainly have honesty between them so those things can be said. I know that for me I feel very strongly that honesty is important in a friendship. I don’t think the type of friendships that exist without it are right for me. Which is a relief because I like to think that everyone that remains in my life now is honest.

In addition to doing alot of thinking lately (so that I sleep better), I have been making and drinking quarts of ice tea. You could make the argument that it is not yet warm enough but if I don’t start with the tea, the weather will never get warm enough! Like when I was walking the dogs on Saturday in shorts and a t-shirt. It was not really warm enough to do so and my mental images of warm weather weren’t keeping me warm either 😉

Okay, I have procrastinated enough, time to go to work…

the hope that spring is truly on the way? Or that the time is soon coming that I can put all our jackets away until fall? Or that the time is fast approaching that sunblock becomes a daily thing again? Today they mostly bring grey clouds and this sense of anticipation, will it rain or will it not? And should I drive to Utrecht for my meeting or take the train?

Seriously, I know, not exactly the questions for the ages. Just came back from the druggist. George’s pills are still not in and we ran out yesterday. I ordered them more than a week ago, knowing that Easter would disrupt the delivery process. Now they say they will definitely have them tomorrow morning. We made do on one pill for Sunday and Monday but now we are completely out. George is more disappointed that he hasn’t gotten his spoon full of Greek yoghurt this morning (which I always put his pill into) than anything else.

Back to work today, the long weekend is over. Actually, I did start doing some work yesterday already since the US was working and three days off was good enough for me. Between now and the end of May, there are at least three more long weekends. I could get used to this 😉

Coming out of the woods on Sunday, Henry couldn’t walk. Which, of course, sent me into panic mode because it was Sunday and Easter and where was I going to find a vet? I carried him all the way home – which made me realize I am lucky he is a dachshund and not an Akita. He still couldn’t walk when we got home. I had to carry him against my shoulder like he was a baby and his paw just kept flopping. All of the worst cases were running through my mind: cancer, paralysis, nerve damage, stroke and so on. I got him home and put him on the sofa where he just proceeded to flop around. Luckily, he let me look at his paws without biting and guess what I found? Buried deep in his little foot was an inch long thorn. Buried all the way to the hilt. I pulled it out in one piece and after 15 minutes, he was back to walking. What a relief! I have saved it because it is truly creepy to look at.

I spent most of the weekend playing music, hanging out with people, reading and doing my best to recharge my battery. Of course, in between, I also cleaned the terrace, did all the chores and walked alot with the dogs. To finish up the long weekend, I went out to dinner last night and much to the dismay of my dining companion, they no longer offered the cheese plank as dessert.

Ah, and I also made an enormous quanity of Orange Blossom Iced Tea like they serve at Dub Sea. I only drink a small glass at a time – having one now actually. It is my favorite iced tea EVER. And it reminds me of the people at Dub Sea 🙂

We’re organizing a siblings pizza and irritation session for June when I go to Chicago. It promises to be entertaining, especially since Dylan is probably still not eating carbs which makes him much more irritating 😉 and after he eats two pieces of pizza, he has to lie down on the floor because he literally cannot move. You know, then we take full advantage and offer all kinds of helpful advice, like we could step on his stomach to make him digest faster, order another pizza so he can build up his carb immunity, etc. You know, the kind of things that show that siblings care!

Well, I suppose I should get back to my work day. Luckily, my presentation for Utrecht is ready to go and now I just need to get myself ready. I  am thinking that my yoga pants are not quite the definition of professional attire that I wish they were!

Yes, indeed! For the Easter holiday, I have four days off. Starting today and through Tuesday. It is a nice little mini break in the midst of a very busy period. I intend to enjoy all four days of it, whether that means doing nothing other than reading or treating myself to important things like a massage later this afternoon!

I had a long talk with Meredith and Rupert last night. They are back from Mexico and readjusting to the Chicago chill. I am looking so forward to seeing them in June. I know the time will pass quickly and before I know it, I will be running late for the airport!

We started today on a leisurely note. George managed to sleep in until 9AM which means the rest of us got to as well! After breakfast and reading the paper cover to cover, my brain is reasonably awake and in a fit state to type. The boys are in their nest here in the office so they can supervise the street.

Yesterday I finally dropped off my raw onion coat at the dry cleaners. They will try their best but olive oil is particularly difficult to get out of clothing. I also took my other winter coats. This is a sign of optimism of course. If I have them cleaned, I won’t need them again this year because spring is here. It doesn’t quite seem to work that way since last night I still needed mittens to go out and a hat to keep my noggin warm.

I think today I will take a walk over to the Albert Cuyp market and just meander about and see what is new for Easter. You never know what you might find there. Then maybe get a falafel for lunch from Sonny’s. Which has the best falafel and fries in Amsterdam in my opinion.

After all, I have nothing to do today except enjoy it 🙂

While I am a fan of great gusts of wind that nearly push you down the street and turn your hair into something rarely seen outside of Greek mythology, I have to admit that it doesn’t make me want to go outside very much. Instead it makes me want to hunker down indoors with a cup of coffee, music and wearing a fleece vest. I’m not the only one, minus the coffee, the boys are advocates of the same! Henry used to tuck himself inside my mom’s fleece vest. Once that vest finally got around to being replaced, it went to Henry. He would literally climb inside the vest, through the armhole or the zipper, whichever was open. Whenever I wear a fleece vest, I think of my mom.

I was thinking about her yesterday and how I am going to celebrate her 75th birthday in Maastricht. I am so looking forward to that, seeing Andre Rieu in the square and having that vacation feeling. When I think that it has been two years, that seems impossible. I wish she was here. It is Easter this coming week and we have a four day weekend. Good Friday, Easter Sunday and Easter Monday. I am reminded of my mom because Easter was usually the day we would eat the first asparagus of the year over baby new potatoes with hardboiled eggs and melted butter. Okay, not in any way shape or form healthy but really good. We didn’t feel the need to ruin it with ham. And then I would tease her about the time I was seven and very BAD on Easter. This resulted in me not getting my Easter basket. My mom still felt terrible about it 30 years later. Which, of course, I knew and that was why I would mention it 😉 I remember that Easter basket had a new binder in it with grey tabby kittens on it. I knew this because I had looked already and found my mom’s secret stash of our Easter baskets. I did later on end up getting the binder and I have the pin of the laughing Easter bunny still from that year.

I had that with my mom. The button pushing relationship and the ability to be a smart ass. If you measure love by attitude, I would say my mom and I had more than our share and several other people’s portion as well. I miss that. I think that actions carry far more weight than words. People can say all sorts of things but it is their actions that really indicate who they are. I wandered away from that belief for a few years, I put more emphasis in people’s words than their actions. Fortunately, I have found my way back to believing in deeds.

Saturday night, I went to the film “Loin des Hommes” with Viggo Mortensen. Or as it would be in English “Far From Men”. I wasn’t expecting it to be in French – I had it in my head that of course, Viggo Mortensen acts in English. It was a good movie, very much on topic between the difference between actions and words. I am getting better at reading the Dutch subtitles 😉

I also rode on the back of a scooter for the first time on Saturday night. Well, technically it was Sunday morning since I was returning home from dancing in the Rembrandtplein at 630AM. It was exhilarating! I can see why people have scooters. I am going to stick with my trusty Beatrix. I very clearly see the appeal. The whole time I was remembering what my brother Cedric says about riding a motorcycle “move with the bike, not against it” and he was right. It feels counterintuitive but it is the right way to do it. Kind of like when I play my banjo, if I just let go and play, the song comes outs. When I think about it too much and literally stop breathing between bars, it goes wrong.

Okay, time to go back to work…

It has been one of those days where it appears that spring is not really coming. There were about 10 minutes of sunshine this morning and then it has been grey, rainy and as my weather app calls it “Mistflarden” all day. The boys are not fans of this weather, especially not when it means that they are going to get their nails trimmed. In a few minutes, I will put their gear on them and we will go take our evening walk.

I am off to the movies tonight. Beatrix is at the bike shop, her back tire is in need of replacement. I won’t get her back until Tuesday since they are closed Sunday and Monday. That puts a cramp in my shopping plans. I usually haul the cat litter, paper towel rolls and really bulky items with Beatrix. Instead today I was walking around wearing my enormous bike lock and buying only the bare necessities for today – things like baby avocados from Spain, croissants from the organic bakery, a big bottle of mineral water and a kitchen roll.

I have to say that the Within Temptation concert was incredible and I cannot wait to go again! The people watching was easily an 8. Haarlem is beautiful, especially in the old town. Seriously, I could live there. If I get tired of Amsterdam, I might. All day yesterday, I was at the office, headphones on and rocking out to Within Temptation all over again. Yesterday, there was a giant power failure here in the Netherlands. It made for an interesting couple of hours. And it turned the train system upside down. I did rather enjoy it but I didn’t have anywhere to be, I could run on battery power while sitting in the office with no lights on. Marianne left for Curacao yesterday morning and I think her plane made it out just before the power failed at the airport. She and Joris went to take a break from the cold, I think. They are not the only ones. Rupert and Meredith are apparently in Cancun, thawing from the Chicago winter. I am jealous of all of the guacamole they are eating and probably excellent tortillas.

Speaking of tortillas, we did get some FedEx’d to us through a connection of Marjo’s from the US. It fulfilled the emergency shortage and the boys are very grateful. However, longer term we need to find a better option. I am going to learn to make them myself. It cannot be that difficult and I know the boys will eat any practice tortillas that I make.

It has been a very busy week. I am still coughing. I have my voice back though which is helpful. I have seen a lot of people I don’t talk to regularly enough because they are always travelling. And Thursday evening, before the concert, the folks from my living room gave me a giant photo album full of pictures they had made of the Indonesian dinner we had in December together and of them clowning around in their various locales. And they adorned the pages with their thoughts and comments. I love it! I was so touched by it. It is sitting up on the book shelf so it doesn’t accidentally get splashed by cat barf. Chances are if you come to my house, I will show it to you before I serve you coffee. You know, like those neighbors that always want to show their vacation slides!

Okay, off to see how many raindrops I can dodge with two small dogs in tow! Tonight we go to Daylight Savings Time, so that’s an extra hour of sleep I will encourage myself to take to get prepared for the dramatic time change 😉 and that means much longer lit evenings – hurrah!

with a headcold and alot of coughing and snot. I know, just what you wanted to visualize. Never let it be said that I don’t share the highlights 😉 I will tell you that I am profoundly grateful that when I was leaving JFK in November, I paid 8 dollars for a box of Alka-Selzter Cold and Flu. At the time, I remember kicking myself for not going to a drugstore before going to the airport and paying airport prices. Yesterday, when I opened the box and listened to the first familiar fizzing sounds, I knew I would have paid far more than 8 dollars for the relief!

I really enjoyed exploring Bern. The city is a mix of my favorite styles of architecture, Federalist, Gothic and Medieval. I also like the way the river Aare flows through the city and you can see the working water courses. Several times I sat on the edge of fountains that I knew had been in use for at least 800 years. It made me think about how much I have in my life and that fundamentally throughout the centuries, we are all still connected. Whether that is through DNA, stone, the arts or the natural world around us.

The thing about Bern is that it feels a bit like a movie set. I feel like no one lives in those buildings. I know they do. However, you could walk down streets and not see another person. This is definitely something that I am not used after the density of Amsterdam. I would like to visit it again in the summer, I have a big desire to go swimming in the Aare, like so many Bernese do in the warm weather.

I like the Swiss sense of orderliness and cleanliness. Everything is very precise. However, this doesn’t leave much room for flexibility. For example, their rules about fondue. Minimal 2 people, no exceptions. I ran into this rule everywhere I tried to get my fondue on. So tonight I will go to Cafe Bern here in Amsterdam with Marjo and get my fondue finally!

The coffee was also a bit of a miss. Pretty watery and definitely not what I expected. I did learn alot about Ovaltine, which was a Swiss invention and how Toblerone came into being. If you can’t tell, I spent a good deal of time in the Bern Historical Museum which also houses the Albert Einstein Museum – he lived in Bern and wrote the first draft of the Theory of Relativity there. The museum was so cool. I learned that Einstein was quite a ladies man. I also noticed that he had incredibly kind eyes and in the morning, my hair resembles his hairstyle. Also seeing the Swiss view of their famous concept of armed neutrality was interesting, especially in relation to the WWII question.

The first night I was there, I was in the vegetarian restaurant Tibits. I was enjoying my meal, with my grown up coat over the chair next to me. All of a sudden I hear a crash and feel a splash. Turns out someone behind me lost control of his overly full plate and his raw onions, olive oil dressing and other aromatic dishes landed all over my coat. Not even an apology from him or his dining partner. I was frantically trying to scrub his dinner out of my coat because it was the only one I had and I needed it for my interview on Monday. Unfortunately, I was not successful. And rather than smell like a walking food cart, I went without a coat over the weekend. That probably didn’t help with staying healthy.

Tomorrow night it is the Within Temptation concert in Haarlem. Woohoo, time to get my rock opera on. I just bought Henry Rollins tickets for next January when he comes to Amsterdam. Next week is Easter which means we get Friday through Monday off. Hard to complain about living in a country like this 🙂

Sitting upstairs on the train, waiting to leave Bern. I passed my interview and no more painfully long Customs experiences! I am so relieved because that is time in your life that you never get back.

Switching to air at Basel and home to Amsterdam tonight. The boys will be hungry but I think they will forgive me.

I had a great long weekend in Bern and have some funny stories to tell. Those will have to wait until I am not typing from my phone and incurring the corresponding data costs 😉

Someone today asked me if I had listened to Hank Williams III ever. I hadn’t and boy, what have I been missing! I am listening to him now and I can’t believe I have gone all these years without this music. There is a t-shirt that I really want that has the slogan on it “Banjo is the new Punk Rock” and this music is the perfect example of it.This is definitely getting loaded into my music collection!

Yesterday was gorgeous, 60 degrees and clear blue sky. I missed out since I was in an all day meeting that was being held in the old sugar factory in Zwanenberg. It was cold and dark inside, in clear contrast to the gorgeous weather outside. I have made considerable strides in my ability to meditate. Yesterday we had a meditation activity and I was so deep in my head, I fell asleep sitting straight up sitting at the table for ten minutes or so. No one at the table knew me so that was extra embarrassing. Half of them wanted to wake me up and the other half were against it. So, not only am I the unfashionable American, now I am also the sleeps anywhere unfashionable American 😉

In contrast, today it is misty and chilly. Luckily, there is sunshine forecast for this weekend in Switzerland so I am looking forward to busting out my 10 euro sunglasses and playing tourist. I got them at the HEMA on Saturday. The HEMA is like Target but better. You can always find things at the HEMA that you had absolutely no idea you wanted, let alone needed. I believe in the theory that the more expensive your sunglasses, the quicker you will lose them. When I saw the big movie star style tortoiseshell sunglasses for a mere 10 euro, I knew I had to have them. If my theory holds true, I will probably still have them in three years! Of course, if I don’t have to wear them because there isn’t any sunny weather, they will last even longer!

I am excited to be going to Switzerland. Perhaps one day I will be ready to ski the Alps, maybe next winter. I am not there yet so I will look at this as an acclimatization step. I am planning to rent a bike while I am there. I have looked up the vegetarian places and that’s as much preparation as I am going to do.

The boys are asleep in their car seat next to my desk and they are so cute. I can hear them snoring so they are really out. I am so grateful that I have them. The cats as well. I read something today that “happiness is something we create within ourselves”. Interestingly enough, it was a book on the art of negotiation. I turned that thought around a bit in my head and I realized that I can agree with it. Which just might explain why I might be more aware of things that make me happy. It can be a strangely liberating way to look at the world. Don’t worry about busting out the love beads and patchouli just yet 😉 check back in with me in a few years.

Right, I know I have only myself to blame if I stay out dancing on Rembrandtplein til 5am. I could tell you I was doing important research to understand how music affects the movement of the body so that I could be a more impactful banjo player. You might believe me for a few seconds. The real truth, it was just fun and for fun! And surprisingly, with 4 hours of sleep, my banjo lesson this morning went pretty well.

It also helped that it was sunny this morning and walking in this city in the sunlight is a special treat. You feel like only good things could happen with your day! I have had three or four cups of coffee today so that I could work but other than that, it has been okay. I don’t seem to be making any obvious mistakes 😉 Tomorrow is another all day event, like Friday’s, so I will have to refill my social energy battery again!

Yesterday, I was in the park with the boys and while I was watching them run, I realized how much I enjoyed seeing them do that. I think maybe I am finally starting to appreciate all of the little moments in life like my mom did. If this is true, then moving here was worth it for that alone. I am grateful that I am able to continually explore different things about myself and my ideas. My life is so much richer for being willing to take the risk to do that.

In Seattle, it was easy to fill all of my hours with work, to define myself by my work. Here I work just as hard but I set strong fences around it. I still read my work email on weekends but I don’t respond until Monday morning. And when I start to get anxious about that, I talk myself through that until I can let the anxiety go. Sometimes it doesn’t work and I fall back into the send a response trap. Then I climb back out of the trap, without “shoulding”on myself – i.e., that I shouldn’t have done that, etc.

Golly, at this rate, I will be able to take proper vacations with relaxation and everything! It sounds frivolous, I know. It has taken me 18 months to get to this point. It is not a dismantling of my old self, rather it is an exercise in priority setting. What is important in life to me? How do I want to make sure that I am living with purpose and with a clear understanding of what is important to me?

End of this week and it is off to Switzerland. I remember that when I scheduled the appointment, I thought it was so far in the future. Here is finally. I am looking forward to exploring. Which reminds me that since they don’t use the euro, I need to figure out what that a Swiss franc will buy you. Everyone keeps telling me it is horribly expensive. Not going to worry about it, just going to go and enjoy the experience. Perhaps I will even acquire a proper Swiss fondue set. Perhaps I will like it enough to add it to our summer vacation plans. I think I would like to go somewhere with Astrid so that I can take the boys.

Oh, it is terrace time! 🙂 Sunshine, yay!